Opal Brown, a 38-year-old D.C. woman, has been sentenced to 120 days in jail after admitting that she threw a cup of pee on a bus driver. Once she’s out, she’ll get three years of probation, during which she will not be allowed to use the Metro’s X2 bus line. Attempting to take this particular route will result in her arrest.

Brown seemed to enjoy the temporary notoriety she received, though the events leading up to the dramatic pee assault are very strange. The bus driver apparently told Brown to have a nice day. Brown verified that the driver was speaking to her, and then took out a purple to-go cup and doused the driver with liquid that was later confirmed to be Brown’s own urine. Not old urine either, but fresh urine. Surveillance footage revealed that Brown had peed into the cup in the back of the bus, which is, one must assume, better than just going on the seat or floor. Our own Lex Jurgens’ questions reported on this story earlier and had pondered when, exactly, the cup was filled. This may answer that burning question, but it still doesn’t answer why. Did she have to go, or was she just looking for someone to cover in piss that day?

Immediately following what authorities are calling that “vulgar assault,” Brown fled the scene, while the driver reported to a hospital. That might seem like an extreme response, but if someone throws a bodily fluid on you, better to be decontaminated than sorry. The bus was out of commission for the next while, as it had to be cleaned. As  a public transit user, I cannot even begin to describe how mad I’d be if I had to get off my bus and onto another because of some errant pee flinger. As for Brown, she turned herself in four days later after admitting and boasting about being the pee-thrower on Facebook, writing, “I almost felt like a celebrity.” She later updated her Facebook status with what could turn out to be a violation of probation: “

I GOT OVER A MILLION POST OF PEOPLE WANTING FIGHT ME THIS AND THAT INBOX AND LETS DO THIS GOT NOTHING BUT TIME!!

 Well, maybe in jail.

Now, Jurgens has this theory that on any given bus at any given time, there is a person holding a jar of their own pee. NBC4 interviewed other frequent bus passengers, and one woman said she was not surprised by Brown’s actions, noting she once saw a man filling up a jar with spit. I once saw a woman do bus parkour with a pair of drumsticks shoved down her very obviously soiled pants. The bus is a strange magical place, basically, and that theory may, in fact, be true.

 

Featured Image: Opal Brown (Facebook)