Sharon Spink has been called all sorts of nasty names since revealing in a UK paper four years ago that she continues to breastfeed her five year old daughter, Charlotte. Nobody really cares about these women who come out in magazine articles nursing their kindergarten age kids, as in certainly nobody has suggested it be illegal, or even immoral, though possibly disturbing, especially in photo galleries in tabloid magazines.

In response to all the hostility Spink claims was level at her four years ago, she continued to breastfeed her daughter until recently at age 9, when she claims Charlotte gave up the ghost. Or merely that scary giant pale thing that will be the source of her adulthood Halloween-all-year night terrors. Naturally, upon learning that Spink was still nursing her child at nine, via yet another photo rich exclusive in The Sun, the haters doubled their efforts, calling Spink a pedophile, a criminal, a freak, and some other slurs that it’s quite possible Spink is entirely making up. Though just by wearing a MAGA hat on Twitter you can receive twenty instant death and dismemberment threats, so it’s certainly possible social media trolls posted nastiness about her pushing boob into the mouth of her fourth grader.

From the U.K. Sun, Charlotte at 5 and 9, portrait of a nursing grown child.

What’s perhaps more noteworthy than another unappealing looking heavyset woman discussing how natural it is to nurse a kid during AYSO timeouts, is how social justice memes are so easily co-opted. There is a breastfeeding rights campaign taking place in social media where the conceit is that women who nurse in public are the subject of vile attacks from the patriarchy, though in this case the patriarchy is all judgmental women. The occasional anecdotal tale of somebody at the next table at The Sizzler asking a lady to stow her mammaries until everybody finishes their Malibu Chicken stands in for actual stats of harassment. And typically that tale ends up being sourced back to a mom who runs a pro-nursing blog, so you have to wonder why she didn’t recuse herself from her own planted story.

How can maternal nurturing be wrong, even when it’s shot in selfies like a Polanski home movie.

It’s 2018 and hardly anybody will accuse a woman nursing her infant in public of being a Salem witch. Nursing her 9-year old on the other hand, that’s going to draw some ire born in freakiness. We know you’re not hurting your child, and we know you’re not a pedophile, but we also know you’re an attention seeking troubled lady with flabby jugs and the whole scene looks like a sketch from Caligula Jr. Just stop it.

The idea that you let your child decide when to stop feeding is ridiculous as you don’t let a child make any important decisions in your home. You wouldn’t let them decide on the thermostat temperature or where you should invest your 401(k). You don’t let them decide they want to keep sucking on mommy’s teat in between episodes of Sponge Bob on Hulu. I’ve seen a woman do this with her approximately 6-year old child on a plane and it almost caused me to ring the flight attendant call button for for the first time for something other than another cocktail.

Sharon Spink, you don’t stand accused of a crime, merely being gross. How do you plead? Yes, we can wait until you’re done wet nursing the local junior college transfers.