Rachael Leahy, 34, supposedly loves her kids so much that she agreed to pay a dude five grand to make her ex-husband disappear so that she could gain custody of them. But before you start growing any sympathy for this bitter ex, know that one of her many ideas about what might become of him was having his sold off as a sex slave.

Rachael wasn’t too shy about her desire to have her ex-husband, 59-year-old David Leahy, permanently out of the picture. She must have told someone something, because the Manatee County Sheriff’s Office in Florida got wind of her quest to find an assassin and sent an undercover detective her way. Rachael, believing he was her potential hitman in shining armor, began to tell him about her plans.

Rachael allegedly told the detective that her original plan was to have David kidnapped and sold off as a sex slave. It’s not clear what sort of market price a man pushing 60 drives these days, but if there’s a will, there’s probably a way. However, even Rachael had to admit that was a pretty complex and complicated plan, so she said she’d settle for him just being killed. She suggested a drowning, or perhaps a fire… you know, something that looks like an accident! She was not fond of the idea of a car crash, as she worried he might survive, according to the detective.

After Rachael gave the detective half the money up front, she told him she might have a second gig for him if he did a bang-up job on the first one. Apparently, there’s someone out there who owes her money that she might also like to have killed.

Rachael also informed the detective that she’d already booked a trip beginning on September 9, giving him a week to murder her husband while she remained conveniently out of town. A great alibi, had she not been dishing all of this to a detective.

Rachael was arrested and her bond was set at $100,000. She told the judge that was too high for her as she’s currently unemployed and living on food stamps, despite somehow having an extra 5 Gs to pay an assassin.

According to WTSP 10 News, the pair filed for divorce in 2011. Rachael filed a domestic injunction against David only three months later, and he was arrested for battery in 2012. He later sued both her and a moving company. Their court battles over their children have raged on for the last five years.