I remember feeling pretty full of myself at sixteen. It’s the nature of many boys at that age feeling their oats. I don’t remember any late 20-something women, let alone teachers, displaying much interest in my testosterone fueled and entirely undeserved confidence.

Yet, many American high school boys these days are experiencing the fulfillment of their daydreams, with regular, routine, and commonly occurring sexual relations between relatively attractive female teachers and their student bodies on and off our nation’s school campuses. We can’t possibly be more horny as a nation than ever before, so assume this particular hookup phenomenon is more teaching industry specific than a holistic shift across the fruited planes.

Prep school teacher, Alyssia Reddy, 28, was arrested for a 2016-2017 school year sex-in-the-park physical encounter with a sixteen year old boy at the Pennington School in Pennsylvania where she taught the previous school year. Local police claim they recently received a tip about the sexual encounter in the park, investigated, and determined there was teacher-student penetration, and not of the educational kind. Though a boy could learn a ton from the experience.

Reddy had since moved on to a girls school in Maryland for the 2017-2018 current school year, sending shockwaves through the campus upon her sexual assault arrest this week. Naturally, the current school had to issue an immediate statement that she was totally clean when they hired her. Good work, new school. Who could blame you for hiring a sexual predator when she was still weeks away from her first official arrest. At worst, this hurts your building fund campaign for the next six months with parents and alumni.

Officially, Reddy was charged with institutional sexual assault, unlawful contact with a minor, criminal use of a communication facility and corruption of a minor. That’s a lot of words for porking in the park. But what happens when you can’t bring yourself to hump legal aged adults during your outdoor shame romps.

School faculty photo.

Reddy’s sitting in a Maryland jail awaiting extradition to Pennsylvania, the scene of the scrumping with student crime. If she has access to the Internet, she’ll be able to take pride in being the hundredth lady teacher or so this year to be busted for underaged consumption of human boy flesh. Quite a growing list. So much for teaching.