Wednesday, April 24, 2019
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Mississippi Cop Pleads Guilty to Having Sex While Daughter Died In Car

A former Long Beach, Mississippi police officer pleaded guilty to manslaughter in the death of her three-year old daughter, who died from overheating sitting for four hours in a patrol car while her mom was in her police supervisor’s home having sex. That’s not the crime you want on your rap sheet.

On September 30, 2016, Cassie Barker, now 29, strapped her preschool aged daughter into a car seat and left the air-conditioner running as she cavorted inside the home of her boss, Clark Ladner. The air-conditioner ceased running cool air and the girl, Cheyenne Hyer, died from the heat.

The Case Took 2.5 Years to Resolve in an Admission of Guilt

The wheels of criminal justice can grind quite slowly in the United States. Especially when there are resources for legal challenges and delays in proceedings.

Officer Barker had originally been charged with second degree murder for her role in the death of her own little girl, but this past week she pleaded guilty on a deal to manslaughter, which still entails up to twenty years in prison. The judge delayed sentencing for two weeks to consider the options.

Photos of Cheyenne Hyer can be difficult to look at now, but important reminder about never leaving young kids unattended in cars.

Clark Ladner, while fired from the police force for having morning delights with his subordinate officer, was not criminally charged in the matter. There was no evidence in the case that he knew Cassie Barker had left her child out in her patrol car while they were shtupping and later post-coital napping in his house.

This Wasn’t the First Time Cassie Barker Left Her Kid in The Car

About 18-months before the death of her child in the car, Cassie Barker left her then toddler in the car alone while she was inside a Gulfport, Mississippi store. Police arrived at the scene to free the toddler, and Child Protective Services took temporary custody of Cheyenne Hyer at the time.

Barker was not charged for that incident, though she was suspended at the police department for one week. That’s sort of an odd arrangement.

The judge in this case explained to Barker that living with the guilt of her actions will be her worst form of prison.

After the death of Cheyenne Hyer in September 2016, her baby daddy, Ryan Hyer, learned of the 2015 incident for the first time. He had never been informed. He’s now suing both Barker’s Long Beach Police Department and the Child Protective Services for the State for keeping him in the dark. To date, there’s been no valid explanation as to why he wasn’t informed. Expect a large settlement there.

Female Kindergarten Teacher Arrested for Producing Child Porn

When you think sweet, kindly, 30-something kindergarten teacher, you think, maybe, worst case, she does a little shoplifting. Maybe in her alter ego, she runs a home business in a purely residential housing development. Some kind of adorable crime we all suspect the kindhearted may be secretly pursuing to let their Id out. Not child porn. You never think that.

Audra Mabel (who also goes by Audra Sowden, which may be a maiden name), 34, was arrested at her kindergarten teaching job in Florida this week for child porn she allegedly produced and transmitted to a boyfriend while a first grade teacher in Lansing Michigan in 2017.

The Things We Do For Bad Love

Audra Mabel was implicated in an arrest for the production and distribution of child pornography, when a man she was seeing, Justin Ritchie, 36, was arrested for sexually assaulting one of his young children. Ritchie also recorded the assaults and stored them on his computer.

Ritchie appears to have been turned in by his wife. When cops searched through his digital files, they found additional child pornography involving a woman they came to identify as Ritchie’s teacher ex-girlfriend by this time, Audra Mabel. Mabel appeared in the videos sexually exploiting her 1-year old son.

In a separate video, Mabel, who was a first-grade teacher in Lansing, Michigan at the time, appears to expose her body to the camera, before turning the camera back upon her elementary school class in their seats.

In 2017, Mabel was dating Ritchie despite the fact that he was married. She broke up with him for refusing to leave his wife, but after she had sent him the child porn she produced.

Mabel Was Arrested For Her Very Ill Deeds

In 2018, Audra Mabel moved to Florida where she taught kindergarten in the Orlando area. Now would be the time to be incredibly scared if your child was in her class. Or even just near this disturbed woman.

Mabel was arrest and charged with multiple federal crimes related to producing child pornography and distributing its contents across state lines. She’s in a world of hurt. She’s in the video. With her very little child, doing things that will get the door locked and the key thrown away.

Obviously now investigators must attend to the process of searching out other potential victims. When you have a teacher of young children arrested for manufacturing child pornography, you have to at least assume she may have committed additional crimes.

Another Female Teacher Busted in High School Sex Scandal

Another day, another female teacher at our nation’s high schools has been arrested for having sex with a student. What was once a freakish novelty, now has become a regular occurrence of attractive female educators grooming, sexting, and hopping into the sack with their teen students.

In the most recent case, Sarah Katherine Brooks, 25, a married gym teacher at Archer High School in Georgia, was taken into custody this past week, charged with illicit sex between a supervisory adult and a student.

Young, blonde, married, attractive, socially active, Brooks fits the profile to a tee.

Sarah Katherine Brooks Tutored Her Alleged Sex Victim

It’s unclear why the gym teacher was retained to tutor a seventeen year old boy from the school, but Brooks clearly made the most of her arrangement with the teen.

On Monday of this past week, somebody tipped off the high school as to an ongoing sexual relationship between Sarah Katherine Brooks and her teen student. That somebody almost certainly must be the boy’s mother, who seemed to have a decent outline of what took place between the gym teacher and her son:

The student’s mother told Channel 2 Action News that Brooks and her 17-year-old son had sex during off-campus tutoring. Brooks was his physical education teacher, she said.


The two had sex at least three times since October, including once at the student’s home while she was at work, his mother said.

– Mom

Obviously the mom spoke to her boy and wormed a confession. Or else she’s very good at guessing how many times people have sex.

Brooks Was Arrested Four Days Later

Sarah Katherine Brooks resigned almost immediately upon learning her school principal had contacted police. Not that that’s an admission of guilt. It is as close as humanly possible to admission, however.

By Tuesday, the school sent a letter to parents scaring the bejesus out of them about a teacher sexual predator under investigation by police. Also, naturally, a bold font mention that this was the first ever such case at the school and nobody should blame administrators. CYA much?

Gwinnett County Jail, if you’re here, you done messed up

On Friday, Brooks was taken into custody and booked into the Gwinnett County Jail. Despite the felony sex crime charges, Brooks bonded out on $11,200, because Southern States have a thing about keeping bail extremely low pre-trial. Go figure.

That Darn Teacher-Student Sex Prohibition Strikes Again.

Like many of its neighbors, Georgia has a law on the books preventing adults in a supervisory position, such as a teacher, to have sex with those they supervise, even if the latter are of legal age in the state.

We see these laws most prominently utilized in the Southern states where the ages of consent tend to be younger and a good deal of the students attending high school are capable of legal consent. In Georgia that age is 16. This may explain the very reason we see so many of these cases where teachers are having sex with teens above the age of consent, but still in violation of this felony statute.

Sometimes you need a local attorney to let you know that you can’t have
sex with your 15-year old girlfriend if you’re 21, even in Georgia.

Simply put, people in these states may be used to having sex with younger people. Compare and contrast to my state, for instance, California, where the age of majority is 18. The term “jailbait” really meant anybody in high school for anybody older who might be looking to get into their pants. That was because most 18 year olds are either out of high school or close to finishing out their final years.

In states where the age of consent is 16, for boys and girls, it may be that adults have for some time seen high school upperclassmen (and women) as game-on. This would include teachers who see a 17-year old teen as a “legal” option. Which they were, until these recent no-teacher-student-sex laws came to be. A working theory at least.

Georgia Is No Stranger to Female Teacher Sex Arrests

While male teachers were arrested in this very same Gwinnett County for sexual indiscretions recently, Georgia, of course also has it’s share of female teachers hopping on board the felony sex wagon:

40-year old gym teacher, Shawnetta Rice, arrested for sex with two male students on campus.

Dalton, Georgia hottie teacher Raquel Spencer was arrested for possessing heroin at school. In the investigation that followed, police discovered she was also having sex with a teen boy at the school.

Long County High School choral director, and local coffee shop singer, Kayla Camille Berry, was busted for hooking up with a female student at the school.

Sexy blonde and mature gym teacher, Shawnetta Rice, was discovered to be having sex with a 15-year old student at her high school. During the course of the investigation, cops found an 18-year old senior she was also showing the gym ropes, as it were.

Hot Mom in Louisiana Arrested for Carnal Knowledge of a Juvenile

Talitha Rosier, 31, stands accused of multiple counts of indecent sex related criminal charges with a juvenile. While the alleged acts took place in January of this year, Rosier was not arrested and charged until March 4th, following a lengthy investigation.

Based off her social media accounts, Rosier appears to be a mom, with all the perfect young woman snarky and supportive memes of the day, and an enormous number of filtered selfies from which to receive compliments and “aww shucks” responses.

Louisiana Juvenile Sex Crimes Somewhat Complicated

Louisiana is one of those Southern states that has a rather more complicated understanding of what constitutes illicit or criminal sexual behavior involving a minor, or between a minor and another party not a minor.

The age of consent in Louisiana is 17, but that’s hardly the end of the story. The state has multiple rounds of what are known as “Romeo and Juliet” laws that allow for young lovers of differing ages to have consensual sex. 13 to 14 year olds can “consent” to have sex with others no more than three years older than themselves (so, 16 and 17), and 15 and 16 year olds can have sex with others no more than two years older than themselves (so, 17 and 18). Everybody else seems able to sleep with everybody else legally, so assume in this case, the boy or boys involved were under the age of 17.

To complicate matters further, Talitha Rosier was charged with varying counts related to defiling a juvenile: One Count Indecent Behavior with Juveniles, One Count Felony Carnal Knowledge and One Count Felony Contributing to the Delinquency of Juveniles.

If I may interpret, Indecent Behavior with Juveniles involves the send of lewd or lascivious texts or photos. Felony Carnal Knowledge is precisely as it sounds, and from whence the slang word (F*CK), meaning sexual intercourse with a minor (any orifice). And Felony Contributing to the Delinquency of a Juvenile can really be anything from sex acts, to cursing, to buying alcohol or drugs, or taking a youngin’ to a strip club. Because Louisiana doesn’t detail its sex crimes arrest in any detail, it’s very hard to know prior to trial.

Read into the facial expression of those arrested on such charges as you see fit.

Suffice it to say, Talitha Rosier is in a big world of hurt.

Talitha Rosier Arrested on March 4th, 2019

Following a seven week investigation of events occurring on January 12th, 2019 in Ball, Louisiana, Rapides Parish Sheriff’s Office arrested Talitha Rosier on these multiple sex crimes charges. She bonded out not long after processing on $11,500. Yes, that is a low dollar figure for such crimes in many other states in this nation.

Louisiana doesn’t have the best reputation in popular fiction
for protecting the virtue of the underaged.

Somewhat oddly, Rosier’s Facebook page (very recently deleted it seems) gave no indication during the period of her alleged criminal acts with a juvenile, or subsequent arrest, that she had been so charged with sex crimes with a minor. I guess not all life events are Facebook status update worthy. Though she does appear to have started a new job on January 9, 2019, just three days before the alleged criminal acts.

We’ll keep you abreast of the ongoing court proceedings regarding Talitha Rosier’s criminal sex case. It’s not everyday that hot moms are arrested for such crimes. It only seems like it’s everyday now.

Louisiana Has Known Other Hot Female Sex Criminals

In particular, Louisiana is one of those states where we’ve seen numerous attractive young female teachers busted for having sex with one, two, or even three of their students:

This past December, female athletic coach and trainer, Loralyn Huval, was arrested in Opelousas for sex with what we presumed to be a female student at her school.

Kimberly Naquin preferred the young ladies at her high school; quaint, but still illegal.

Kimberly Naquin of Destrehan High School pleaded guilty in 2017 to having sex, a lot of sex, with a sixteen year old female student; this very same high school the site of an arrest of two female teachers but a year earlier for having sex with a sixteen year old boy.

Young and married hottie high school teacher, Rachel Marie Gillespie was charged with sex with an under 17 boy at Jennings High School.

Actress Lori Loughlin Arrested in College Admissions Bribery Scandal

Among the sentences you’ve never heard uttered before, “Lori Loughlin is crazy smart”. Maybe crazy cute, crazy great on that Full House show, or merely plain crazy. Never crazy smart.

This fact might explain why Lori Loughlin was arrested in a widespread college admissions bribery conspiracy in which she and her husband, the guy who founded the Mossimo clothing line at Target, spent $500,000 to unlawfully scheme their two Instagram influencer teen daughters into USC.

That would be University of Southern California, the tied for 22nd ranked university in the nation. For which you will now pay another $250,000 per child to matriculate. That’s a one million dollar tab for two USC degrees, if the girls make it that far.

Lori Loughlin Busted Along With Other Rich California Moms

To be fair, many of these college admissions crazed parents arrested in the U.S. Justice Department sting were looking at entry into schools like Yale and Stanford for their children. The elite of the elite. Or even other top 10 rank schools. (But tied for 22nd?)

Felicity Huffman co-starred for many seasons on ABC’s Desperate Housewives

Felicity Huffman of Desperate Housewives fame, and married to William H. Macy fame, was also indicted in this sting operation The Feds codenamed, Varsity Blues. She allegedly paid the mastermind middle man of this broad conspiracy, William “Rick” Singer, $15,000 to “purchase” artificially adjusted scores for her daughter on the SATs. That bumped her from a 1020 to a 1420. At least she got her money’s worth.

Jane Buckingham, her son who she sought to bribe into better ACT scores,
and her daughter, who is, of course, a social media model and influencer

Jane Buckingham, a Hollywood digital marketing guru of sorts, and regular contributor to the HuffPost and Cosmopolitan, allegedly paid Singer to get her son a 34 on the ACT. If you don’t know ACT scores, that’s super tight. She’s on Justice Department tapped lines sending Singer examples of her son’s lousy handwriting so the professional ringer taking his test for him can mimic his penmanship in the written essay portion of the ACT.

Numerous other wealthy moms dotting the money havens of Coastal California were arrested as well. Some using Singer’s system where he had bribed sports coaches at some of these colleges to attest to the athletic prowess of his paid client’s kids. This despite many of them never even being involved in the sport where the coaches affirmed they would help the school in coming years.

“Rick” Singer Had a Very Rick Kind of Plan

Singer staged athletic photoshoots to provide evidence. When that wasn’t possible, he Photoshopped heads of these client kids onto the bodies of other athletes in photos. Seems amateurish. Apparently it worked.

All in all, these wealthy college admissions cheating moms kicked Singer $25 million in cash he turned around into bribes and chicanery to provide entrance to elite colleges for his clients (plus USC, tied for 22nd, mind you).

Would you trust in a guy in a neon green sweater vest who calls himself “Rick”?

The real trouble for these progressive rich celebrities and aristocrats may not be the actual bribery and corruption aspect of the case. As part of his criminal ruse, Singer set up a fake charity to receive the cash payments from the parents to hide suspicion. And herein comes the IRS.

These were large cash transfers to a bogus charity for which it appears several of the corrupt parents may have listed as charitable deductions on their taxes. That’s a big tax evasion bonkers no-no. It’s a tax crime through and through. That’s where you may see jail time coming even for these financially strapped woke mofos.

Varsity Blues, the Takeaway

What’s to be learned from this entire massive bust? For one, upscale California moms are nuts. That’s not an opinion. Between bribing college entrance decision makers and taking strong anti-vaccination stands; these women are going to take out a lot of people.

Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, rich people spouting righteous moral virtue are the most likely to be pulling insider privileged, first among equals type underhanded behavior. Another fact.

Self-serving greedy bastards don’t all look like Mr. Potter from It’s a Wonderful Life. They’re not all corpulent bankers with evil grins foreclosing on hardworking folks’ mortgages. Sometimes, they’re yoga practicing L.A. or S.F. moms who speak out on all the right causes, attend all the right galas, and cry when Captain Marvel does well at the box office.

Hot Female Teacher Jailed for Sex With Student, Drug Charges Dropped

Raquel Spencer receives jail time for sex with student.

As things go, Georgia high school teacher, Raquel Spencer, 29, was let off fairly easily by the courts this week considering she was arrested last year for both possession of heroin, and for having sex with one of her high school students.

Spencer was slapped with 90-120 days at a minimal security facility focused on treatment for her sex crimes; her drug crimes were completely exonerated as part of her plea to the sex. Buy your attorney a beer, Ms. Spencer. Also, be glad you’re a female teacher

Raquel Spencer Was Arrested Last April After a Search of Her Purse

You may recall we covered the Raquel Spencer case last April. The Northwest Whitfield High School teacher and cheer coach was acting all kinds of erratic at school. After numerous reports of her whacked out behavior, the assistant principal turned the matter over to the School Resource Officer (school cop), who in turn asked Spencer for permission to search her purse.

The Northwest Whitfield Cheer Squad,
formerly coached by Raquel Spencer

We’ve never understood why anybody would consent to such a search. Either you’ve got nothing to hide, and this is an invasion of your privacy. Or you do have something to hide, and you’re an idiot (or super high). Spencer agreed for whatever reason. Therein, the SRO found heroin in her purse.

Heroin isn’t like weed. Or a booze bottle. Both of which are verboten obviously for school faculty at school. Outside of school, hell yeah. But in school, only American Spirits and only in the lounge. Heroin is one immediate call to the cops.

That’s when things go interesting.

Raquel Spencer Was Up to Multiple Naughty Deeds

As police in Dalton, Georgia investigated the where’s, why’s, and how’s of Spencer brining heroin in her purse to school, and obviously using herself, they delved into her cellphone. (By way of hint, if you are committing any kind of crime, or even merely an anti-social act or even but an embarrassing hobby, it’s somewhere on your phone. Erase it now.)

That’s when authorities noted communications of a sexual nature between Raquel Spencer and a student at school. These messages included evidence of a sexual affair.

Spencer was discovered to be engaging in “intercourse” of multiple natures during the six months leading up to her arrest for the heroin. She was charged with a teacher having sex with a student, though it’s unclear if the boy was also technically underage (16 in Georgia) or merely fell under the “can’t sleep with your high school students” sexual assault statute. Or both.

Spencer Swung a Sweet Deal — Was Sexism Involved?

By copping to the sexual assault charge, prosecutors agreed to drop the heroin possession charge. You can decided for yourself which is the more serious offense. If you’re offended at all.

The gender gap in criminal sentencing; the one gender gap you never hear about

And within the sex crime charges, Spencer seemed to come out with a rather light sentence. Yes, ten years probation with sex offender status for that time, and a ton of community service, but the mandatory drug counseling seemed to get her the chance at a rather short, 3-month, incarceration time.

This will naturally bring up the topic of gender bias in sentencing. We’ve not seen enough cases to statistically make a case for men receiving harsher punishments for the very same sex crimes than women. Let alone drug charges being dropped. But anecdotally it sure seems to be the case.

Teachers, Drugs, and Sex

Raquel Spencer isn’t the first female teacher we’ve followed who doubled down on illicit sex and drugs:

Stephanie Peterson caught more than fish at her middle school in Florida.

Houston high school teacher, Michelle Schiffer, was busted in 2018 for having sex with a 15-year old and sharing her weed with him.

Newlywed hottie Florida teacher, Stephanie Peterson, chose herself a 14-year old student lover, supplied him with ganja, and made like they were the newlyweds.

Emily Rogers engaged in a lesbian sexual affair with her 18-year old student in a San Antonio area high school. Emily co-supplied the sex, while fully supplying the booze and Xanax to go with.

Hot Texas Mom Ditches Kids for Myrtle Beach Trip

Any news story that begins with 28-year old single mom of 5 young kids isn’t going to end well. If nobody dies, you’re fortunate.

Chrystal Walraven has become insta-famous for being the latest good looking mom of far too many children by multiple men to ditch her little kids for a solo trip. Whether this was a vacay or a job hunting trip depends on whom you believe, and in either case doesn’t affect the legal charges.

Walraven Needed to Get Away

I don’t care how mature you felt at 10 or 12, there’s no way you were mature enough to full-time babysit a 6 year old, a 4 year old, and a 15-month old on your own. But Round Rock, Texas mom, Chrystal Walraven’s two young boys were tasked with just that.

This incident occurred last summer, although Walraven was not arrested until this past month after a lengthy police investigation.

According to police reports, Walraven left her five children on August 25th because she “needed to get away with all that was going on”. Myrtle Beach, South Carolina was her destination. There she stayed with somebody being described only as a “male friend”.

Police were alerted to check on the kids on August 29th, when the principal of the local elementary school learned that a young male student was complaining about being super tired from staying up all night changing diapers.

A Series of Other Adults Let Down the Kids

A couple months before her summer get-away, Chrystal Walraven appears to have been left by her most recent husband and baby-daddy of her youngest child. However, according to reports, she asked another former husband and baby daddy of one of her other children to look after the five kids while she was gone.

Chrystal Walraven and Chris Walraven in happier times,
for however many weeks that lasted.

Based on interviews with that father, it appears he brought the five children lunch on August 25, 26, and 27. Why he stopped coming or why he thought it was cool to leave five kids there after packing up lunch at the apartment is anybody’s guess.

Which leads us to the neighbor lady that was apparently also asked by Walraven to look after her kids. That lady seemed to have dinner duty of some kind, including feeding the kids dinner just the night before the police arrived on August 29th. According to this neighbor lady, she senses something was amiss, what with her great detective nose, but she believed the ex-husband number two had primary care of the kids.

In short, ex-husband number two believed the neighbor lady was in charge; neighbor lady believed this hump was in charge, and the kids were largely left alone most of the time. Presume Walraven conned each into taking the gig by assuring them the other would be doing most of the work.

Police Found a Filthy Apartment Upon Arrival

When police arrived at the home, prior to Family Protective Services, they claim the residence smelled like feces and soiled diaper hell, there were stains all over the floor, and flies in the kitchen. Perhaps most frightening of all, police found the 15-month old in her crib under a blanket and what they thought was non-responsive. They gave the little one a solid shove and she took a breath and appeared to be okay.

FPS was immediately called to the scene to handle the children.

Chrystal Walraven seems to love adorable selfies
What’s a single mom of five young kids to do but smile?

Naturally, both ex-husband number two and neighbor lady, when interviewed, claimed they didn’t notice the intense grossness in the house. Other neighborsnoted the kids playing outside until midnight, but figured mom was just working hard. I’m not even sure what that means, unless she’s a hooker who works the stroll late evenings.

When soon to be latest ex-husband was contacted by authorities, he claimed he was told by Chrystal Walraven that the neighbor would be watching his kid and the four others while she took a short trip.

Walraven’s Side Comes Out

Chrystal Walraven claimed in a media interview that she had intended to return on August 28th, even though she couldn’t ultimately make this happen due to travel snafus until August 30th, or five days after she’d left her kids.

Walraven also claims that her visit to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, was to look for work, even though she copped to visiting the beach and other tourist attractions; and yes, to staying with that “male friend”.

Inside Edition was all over the Riverside, CA mom who
intentionally ditched her two-year old daughter in a grocery store

Walraven is insisting that she believed she has set up care arrangements for her five little kids, this multi-layered wall of babysitting protection. How was she to know her ingenious plan would fail. After all, she was communicating with her older boys via Facebook Messenger almost nightly.

To the credit of the two boys, they were holding the bag valiantly. They were never going to tell, and even when police arrived, they assured them they had everything under control.

Hot Texas Mom Charged

Following what turned out to be a six month investigation, Chrystal Walraven was charged with two counts of abandoning or endangering a child. Why only two counts remains unclear, but each charge is a felony with a penalty of one to ten years in prison.

The five kids were initially placed in the foster care system after their mother’s arrest, but are now residing with that ex-husband who is also the father of one of them. God bless America.

There’s probably a moral tale in this story somewhere, though the one that keeps coming to my mind is, don’t make yet another baby with a young woman overflowing with somebody else’s children, no matter how attractive she is.

The Chrystal Walraven Case Mirrors That of Erin Macke

In the summer of 2017, Iowa hot mom, Erin Macke, 30, left her 12-year old twins, an eight year old, and a seven year old behind while she took a dream 10-day vacation to Germany.

Erin Macke waited six full days before retuning from Germany to her kids in Iowa
even after learning that police had been called in to her home.

In that case too there seemed to be multiple baby-daddies. One of the kids in the home called their father and alerted him that mom had left them for a European vacation, and her alerted authorities.

Before Macke could learn of the back-home warrant for her arrest, she had already begun posting Instagram selfies of her fun time in Germany. Oops.

Before the judge at her sentencing, Macke claimed her intentions were earnest and innocent, and apparently the judge concurred as he hit her with zero jail time, merely two years probation.

Bottom’s Up Bikini Baristas Driven Out of California Town

Bottom's Up Espresso sells coffee, with bikini style.

It’s hard to say who was the first businessperson to come up with the model: let’s do exactly what everybody else is doing, but hire hot girls in skimpy outfits to do it.

Hooters obviously comes to mind. Southwest Airlines did the same in Texas decades ago. In the HBO show, The Deuce, John Franco plays a rundown midtown 1972 Manhattan bar manager whose genius strategy is to put his waitresses in tight leotards. Hint: it works.

Remember the Harlem Shake challenge? Here it is sexy bikini barista style

Perhaps this isn’t so much an issue of who came up with the idea first, as much as, who was able to get away with it first, without police raids, legal rousting, and protest marches outside your doors.

Bottom’s Up Espresso Did Just This With Your Morning Coffee

There’s no doubt that coffee has become a big business in the U.S. and numerous other consumer rich countries. What used to be a cup of Joe for 25-cents at a convenience store, donut shop, or fast food restaurant, suddenly became a four dollar cup of coffee with some whipped milk and sugar products. Now that’s real money.

Bottom’s Up Espresso took that, “Let’s be Starbucks, but in our stores we’ll…” fill-in-the-blank mission statement, and filled it in with hot baristas in bikinis.

Started in Modesto, California in 2011, Bottom’s Up Espresso has slowly been opening outlets around the less sexy parts of state, away from the coastal regions. And when you’re in the less sexy parts, sex really sells.

American Canyon Wanted No Part In This “Adult” Business.

You’ve probably never heard of American Canyon, California. I lived 30 miles away from American Canyon for numerous years, and I never heard of American Canyon. It’s a town due South of Napa, since you’ve at least heard of Napa.

The City Council of American Canyon, after Bottom’s Up Espresso initially received approval to move in, overrode the decision by determining that the dress of the baristas would categorize the coffee shop as an adult business. That seems silly to any man who’s ever been to an actual adult business, I’m looking at all of you, but apparently the city code defines it by how the employees dress:

the city’s municipal code [also] requires workers to cover specific “anatomical areas” of the body, including the buttocks, the pubic area, and the breasts below the areola. Otherwise, it may be classified as an adult-entertainment establishment.

– SFGate.com

Bottom’s Up Espresso CEO, Nate Wilson, expressed his dismay at the location reversal, citing that rather tired trope that his employees don’t show any more than your typical young lady at the beach these days. That’s one of those statements that’s perfectly true, but runs afoul of the contextually relevant test. As a for instance, try that excuse at your job when you show up in just a thong.

Bottom’s Up Espresso Surrendered

Wilson was quick to note that his bikini barista coffee company could easily take the city of American Canyon to court over the issue and win. But, because he loves America, and doesn’t want to cost local taxpayers court costs, he’s simply going to give up the ghost on this location. The veracity of that previous statement isn’t entirely provable, but it sounds good when people say stuff like that in public standing in front of an American flag green screen image.

Of course, the reaction to running the bikini coffee girls out of town has been mixed. As in, most every woman asked says, great, and most every guy asked says, damnit.

Even Bottom’s Up Espresso’s co-founder, Alexandra Green, exudes the company sexy.

You do have to wonder if, even the sexy women lovers among us, so, all of us, aren’t better off keeping our lurid leering needs separate from our food and beverage expenditures.

As a for instance, the food at Hooter’s isn’t particularly good by any measure, the beer is often flat, and it’s generally a horrible place to watch a game. Yet, we go. Wouldn’t we perhaps be better off enjoying better food, at a better sports bra, from a perfectly efficient waiter named Steve, then after the game visiting the boob-bar next door for pleasures of the Id?

These are the questions that keep me up at night. Along with the unnecessary number of coffees I’d purchase from a place like Bottom’s Up Espresso merely because I think I’m getting somewhere with the bikini barista who remembers my order.

Woman Busted at Kalahari Resorts for Hot Tub Sex

For those not familiar, Sandusky, Ohio, near the Lake, is home to the not incredibly famous Kalahari Resorts hotel and indoor waterpark. The amusement fare attracts largely family crowds with children; but the unusually African-themed resort has some 21 and over features for the grown ups.

Take for instance, the outdoor hot tub. Err, the indoor, outdoor hot tub, as you need to shimmy into the indoor portion to obtain cocktails. There’s a wooden African safari themed fence around the tub to let you know it’s for adults enjoying bawdy conversation, cocktails, and, this week, a couple having sex.

Taylor Coats and Her Boyfriend Were Spotted by a Lifeguard

This was only around 8pm in the evening when a lifeguard confronted Taylor Coats, 22, and her assumed boyfriend, at least for that moment, Kamden Mack, 25, in the hot tub. According to the lifeguard’s report, the pair were humping in Kalahari hot springs. Somebody forgot to read the rules.

One of the steamy hot tubs at the Kalahari Resorts: check the pH balance please.

This bone-and-boil incident in all likelihood could’ve ended peacefully, but apparently the male subject became irate at the lifeguard when asked to desist. Perhaps this is the one part of the story to which you can emotionally relate. Especially if Coats wasn’t his regular girlfriend, but somebody he’d just met on early evening safari hunting.

That’s when the lifeguard at the resort called the cops.

No Shtupping in the Kalahari Hot Tub

Sandusky PD arrived to deal with the angry boyfriend. These cops wanted none of this. They handed Coats and Mack (sounds like an ABC TV cop show) back to resort security. And as the cops were leaving, Mack ran away. So the cops ran after him as cops tend to do.

If you’re looking for a cliche African-safari themed resort and waterpark on the shore in Ohio, Kalahari Resorts is your place.

Mack was tackled down and put in the back of the squad car, wherein he lurched from the car and tries to escape again. Another tackle. Presume he’s in his bathing suit at this point. Not to mention the coitus interruptus issue.

Taylor Coats got the wise idea to make a break herself. Though she fled back to her hotel room, which made it remarkably easy to find her.

We believe the photo on the left to be a Facebook selfie of Taylor Coasts from freshman year of high school. Kids, stay away from drugs and alcohol.

Coats was charged with misdemeanor persistent disorderly conduct. Maybe that means she was enjoying herself. Also, criminal trespassing, an odd charge for a hotel guest using the hotel hot tub. Mack was handed the same charges, but also a felony escaping charge for making Sandusky cops chase him twice, and tackle him twice. Some people never learn.

Hot Tub Sex Isn’t For the Faint of Heart

This Canadian couple, albeit an 18-year old guy and 42-year old woman, became YouTube famous when caught on surveillance cameras acting robbery-sketchy in somebody’s backyard, before taking to their hot tub to enjoy the pleasures of the flesh.

They were both identified later on and prosecuted for their crimes. Though it’s Canada, so the punishment had something to do with a waffle-eating contest.

Lowell High School Cheerleading Coach Arrested for Producing Child Pornography

Madalynne-Iteen-Arrested-Child-Porn-Charges

In a story that deserved far more attention this past month, a 22-year old Lowell High School, Michigan part-time cheerleading coach was arrested in connection to producing and transmitting child porn to a man in Canada. Specifically, the imagery involved images of a naked male infant.

With the court case now headed to the Federal grand jury, there’s still little explanation as to what would drive Madalynne Iteen, a former Lowell High School graduate herself, to engage in such disturbing behavior.

Madalynne Iteen Couldn’t Appear More Wholesome

To visit Madalynne Iteen’s social media accounts is to enter a world of a socially active and optimistic cheerleading instructor, an active young woman with tons of friends, and but the most complimentary mentions of wanting to express herself through photography.

Photography ideas won’t stop brewing in my head! I have so many exciting photo shoots planned and I can not wait to get my ideas into a photograph.

– Madalynne Iteen on Facebook

Herein lies the trouble with social media accounts. Save for those cry-for-help teens hellbent on violence, they merely provide a further masking of the true nature of individuals. For God’s sake, Madalynne Iteen spearheaded a Change.org petition to get the Governor of Michigan to sign a No-Leaving-Pets-in-Cars law. She got 10,000 signatures. She’s got thousands of social media friends.

Iteen Caught in Child Porn Sting in Canada

Ontario Police arrested a suspect in a child porn possession last month. They kept his email account open to see what might come in. On February 6th they received an email with a link to photographs depicting pornographic images of a male infant.

Canadian investigators dug up the sender’s ID as Madalynne Iteen, the cheerleading coach at Lowell High School. The photos were dated from last summer. They passed the information along to the Department of Homeland Security in the U.S. who enacted Iteen’s arrest at her home in Lowell.

Charges have yet to be fully delineated. Presume they are intense and serious with decades of prison time possible.

Madalynne Iteem Also Worked at the Lowell YMCA

As if being around high school students wasn’t bad enough, Iteen also worked in before and after school programs at the local YMCA. It’s unclear what aged children she assisted there.

Iteen was responsible for coaching the JV team at Lowell High School.

Imagine parents in the area are reeling. An alleged child porn producer in their midsts and not a soul could’ve suspected it. Both the school and the YMCA assured parents in letters that nobody from these locations was involved in the photographs. Cold comfort perhaps

According to court documents, Madalynne Iteen confessed to producing the photographs at her residence last summer. No word yet on the relationship to the infant, or whether she’s recanted her confession now that court proceedings are underway.

It’s Far Rarer for Women to Be Involved in Producing Child Porn

Most of the cases we cover where women have been arrested for child pornography, it’s been for receiving explicit photos of teen boys or girls with whom they are having sexual affairs. Not the Jared from Subway variety of basement photo shoots.

However, there have been some cases before where we’ve seen such arrests:

Katja Goen Zielke made some very poor decisions to please a new boyfriend.

Jessica Cunnington, a budtender in Spokane, was arrested for taking obscene photos of her own young daughters to share with a very creepy man on Kik.

In New York, Megan McDonald was arrested for having sent explicit photos of very young children to a man himself arrested for grooming a 12-year old girl online.

And in Florida, very attractive Wells Fargo loan officer, Katja Goen Zielke, was busted when her fancy new boyfriend convinced her to send him photos of her preteen girls taking showers. She complied. Why, we may never know.

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