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So, you kill some people and you spend a few decades in jail, noshing off the prison slop. But when it’s time for your last meal, what do you, as a convicted murderer, choose? Here are the last meals of some of the notorious ladies of Death Row.

Velma Barfield liked to poison anyone she didn’t like to fuel her drug addiction. But when the “Death Row Granny” was ready to face the Reaper in 1984, she elected for a rather modest meal. She washed a bag of Cheez Doodles down with a can of classic Coke.

Marilyn Kay Plantz was a person who liked the finer things in life. After all, she did hire assassins to take out her husband so she could score on his $300,000 life insurance policy in 1998. Naturally, this Oklahoma murderess did not choose a modest final meal when she was executed in 2001: she ordered a chicken taco salad, a pair of chicken tacos, a Mexican pizza, two cinnamon twists, a pecan pie and not one, but two cans of Coke.

Image: YouTube
Image: YouTube

Karla Faye Tucker and her boyfriend broke into their friend’s place to rob him, but also murdered him with a hammer and a pick axe. Karla also took the weapon to a woman who she found hiding in the victim’s bed. Though Karla once bragged that every blow of the axe gave her an orgasm, she later converted to Christianity in prison. On her execution date, she had a modest meal: a garden salad with Ranch, a banana, and a peach.

Christine Marie Riggs murdered her two children, ages 2 and 5, by drugging and poisoning them, then failed at killing herself. When the Arkansas murder mom was preparing to die in 2000, she requested a smorgasbord: a nice dinner salad, a supreme pizza, a side of fried okra, strawberry shortcake and a cherry limeade to wash it down.

chips

Wanda Jean Allen had a history of violence, which culminated in her gunning down her ex-girlfriend in 1998. In 2001, the state of Oklahoma executed her and all she wanted was a bag of chips.

Aileen Wuornos was one of the most vicious female serial killers of all time, murdering six men by shooting them dead. She decided not to eat a final meal. She drank a cup of coffee, black, and that was that.

Image: Pecan Pie, Gloria Cabada-Leman/Flickr
Chips, Mike Haller/Flickr

Carla Scott Gets 25 Years For Running Over Romantic Rival

Carla Scott, 36, was sentenced to 25 years in prison on Tuesday, September 27, 2016 for running over a woman who was involved with the same guy. In Yonkers on April 18, 2015, a fuming Carla struck 37-year-old Glynis Pinto with her Mercedes-Benz. Pinto’s body flew up over the hood, then slipped off. Carla responded by running her over and leaving the scene. Pinto died later that evening.

Prosecutors said that Carla hit Pinto on purpose, out of anger over a man that both women, at times, had been involved with. Carla’s lawyer at one point tried some sort of self-defense claim despite that fact that his client was the one safely entombed in a 2,000-pound metal object, but listen lady, if it’s not gonna work for Suge Knight, it ain’t gonna work for you. Carla’s pathetic jealousy left Pinto’s son motherless, while Carla has six children of her own who will now have to spend their Mother’s Day at the clink for at least the next quarter century.

carlascott2

Pinto’s mother, Sylvia Gibbs, had some choice words for this wretch as police escorted her off to jail.

“Maliciously and deliberately, you have destroyed our family and friends, and your own. Take your lucky ass on and go straight to hell.”

Damn.

Images: Westchester County DA’s Office; Westchester News 12

That Time The Ohio Moms Went to Mickey D’s and Beat Down the Cashier

We’ve all been there before. Staring at the sloth slow movements of your McDonald’s employee finding that Egg McMuffin you need to make your hangover go away. You want to reach out and choke somebody, something, make my fast food go faster!

Unfortunately, outside of Purge night, you’re not allowed to beat your restaurant servers for slow service. You can withhold a tip. Perhaps write something smarmy and embarrassing on the receipt. But no gathering of your two mom friends to circle the McDonald’s employee after her shift in the parking lot for a beat down. “Look who’s slow with my McChicken sandwich now, bitch!”

Mary Jordan: been there, done that.
Mary Jordan: been there, done that.

Mary Jordan seems to be filled with bad idea. She is all of thirty-three and the punching mom ringleader. You can tell from her cavalier mug shot photo that she’s been there before. She has. Jordan previously served 20 months for forgery. Who commits forgery? Bad checks are so last year, mom. Or so last two years ago in Mary Jordan’s case.

Joining Mary in her gang tackle of the slow McDonald’s employee were Ashley England and Sammie Whaley, all of Sandusky, Ohio. All three moms. All three charged with both assault and child endangerment since you’re not allowed to kick McDonald’s employees in front of your small children. Chipotle, maybe, if they served you the bad carnitas.

Ask yourself this: how has it gone being Marry's friend?
Ask yourself this: how has it gone being Marry’s friend?

Mary Jordan is expected to receive jail time for her participation. She’s clearly violated the terms of her forgery probation. Her mommy friends likely to receive fat less as they were mostly watching. When your check kiting friend just out of state prison says it’s time to teach somebody a lesson, always take three steps back to avoid co-conspiracy charges. Entertainment options are limited in Sandusky. If you omit the Cedar Point Amusement Park around the corner with some of the finest rides in the world. Roller coasters may not be your thing, but riding them won’t get you arrested. Or make you a truly horrible mother.

Melissa Kitchens Let Her Son Into Her Kitchen

Incest is best. So reads the juvenile poems etched on the stalls of many a public restroom. It also ranks fairly high among the adult film titles. For all incest’s popularity in theory, it does remain entirely illegal in practice. Such is the ill-fate of Melissa “Missy” Kitchens who took it upon herself to sexually comfort her live-in son when his wife and infant child were driving him quite insane. A mother’s love is never more needed than in trying times, closely related to times of no sex.

Shaun Pfeiffer is twenty-five and his mother Missy only forty-four. Clearly North Carolina authorities who arrested them have no understanding of family bonds. Or the fact that forty-four year old women have needs. If they go by “Missy”, they have overwhelming needs.

Shaun snapped photos of his mother Missy and wife Shannon together.
Shaun snapped photos of his mother Missy and wife Shannon together.

If you happen to be the cuckolded wife Shannon in this arrangement, you might look for such warning signs as your husband and his relatively young mother taking photos of each other and posting to Facebook with complimentary comments about each other’s looks. Also, when your husband says he understands that you’re not in the mood after having a baby but he’s about to crack open like a nut and go climb on top of his mom, take him slightly seriously. Especially if she’s sleeping next door in negligee and moaning his name out in her sleep.

Among other reasons, this is why grown men should not be living at home with their single mothers. That and rent fights. Now both Missy and son Shaun face up to three years in the clink. It’s easy to joke about the Carolinas and the South and the cliche of inter-family sexual relations. Less easy to chuckle as you listen to case testimony where a woman asks her baby boy to sleep with her and he really is her baby boy.

Shaun liked to take hot photos of his mom and share them on Facebook. Because warning signs can never be loud enough.
Shaun liked to take hot photos of his mom and share them on Facebook. Because warning signs can never be loud enough.

As for Shannon, Shaun’s wife, she also took to Facebook upon the arrest of her husband and mother-in-law. Not to vent, but to offer her forgiveness and some mention of higher powers. You do get the husband you deserve. And he gets his mom. It’s almost wrong that somebody told on them.

Sarah Williams Never Boiled A Bunny, But She Did Stab Her Rival 40 Times

Sarah Williams just couldn’t get over the fact that firefighter Ian Johnston didn’t want to be with her. The proof was in the pudding in this one: Ian didn’t want to be with Sarah because he thought she was clingy and obsessive, so she obsessed for a year and a half, ruminating on the best way to kill the next woman he dated.

Ian Johnston, 57, and Sarah, 35, had a brief sexual relationship after the pair met at a ski resort, but Ian soon rekindled his relationship with Sadie after it became clear that things with Sarah, a professional sugar baby, just weren’t going to work out. Ian then began to date a well-to-do business woman named Sadie Hartley. She was older than Sarah by about 25 years, and she also had the added bonus of being sane, unlike Sarah.

Image: Lancashire Police
Image: Lancashire Police

Sarah stewed in her rejection and lamented about it to her friend, Katrina Walsh. Katrina had a single shock of hair, a result of suffering from alopecia. Katrina had never met Sadie, but easily fell into the idea that she should die for her sins of dating a man who didn’t want Sarah. Katrina’s husband had left her for another woman in the past, so perhaps there was some empathy there. Or maybe she was just a nutter. Either way, she kept a diary about how excited she was about their plans, at one point writing she had to take a shot of SoCo just to calm herself down.

The pair plotted and plotted for 18 months until finally, in January of 2016, Sarah showed up at Sadie’s door in Lancashire. When Sadie answered, Sarah struck her with a stun gun in the head, and then violently stabbed and slashed at her unknowing rival 40 times. She left her lying in a growing pool of blood in the hallway of her home.

Image: Lancashire Police
Image: Lancashire Police

Investigators would later unravel all the lengths the two women had gone to to commit what they had hoped would be the perfect crime. The murder pals had to go to Germany to buy the stun gun, and Katrina did a test run of the killing a week in advance. She purchased some flowers and delivered them to Sadie, just to see what it would be like to have her come to the door. When Williams committed the slaying for real, she wore shoes that did not fit her in an attempt to throw investigators off her trail. Their plotting was no match for good ol’ detective worked, and each were sentenced to prison, where they will remain for the next few decades.

Image: Lancashire Police
Image: Lancashire Police

Sarah was described as a “bunny boiler” in court, so derived from the film Fatal Attraction. In the film, a married man has an affair with a woman who refuses to let him go. At one point, she boils his daughter’s pet rabbit in a pot.

In an article in the Telegraph, writer Christina Criddle argues that calling Sarah a bunny boiler “undermines” the seriousness of her brutal crime and conveys an inherent misogyny in glamorizing or minimizing crimes committed by women.

Woman Gets 40 Years For Letting Her Common Law Husband Impregnate Child Relative

Take a good long look at the visage of Peggy Sue Knox, ’cause she is the worst. She will also spend the next several decades in prison for helping her common law husband sexually abuse two of her young relatives.

Peggy Sue, 37, of Lacy Lakeview, Texas was sentenced to 40 years in prison this week after pleading guilty to multiple counts of sexually abusing children.

This fine argument for why the human race should just stop reproducing and give the planet to the animals was arrested alongside her 55-year-old common law husband, Terry Wayne Harrison, in December of last year. Two female relatives of Knox were abused in her home over the course of three years. At the time the abuse began, the girls were 11 and 12. It carried on until the older girl became pregnant, which raised suspicion about what was really going on behind closed doors. The young mother, now 15, told the court that she planned to be a girl mother to her child.

What makes Peggy Sue so disgusting is that she didn’t just turn a blind eye to the abuse; she joined in. The two girls were related to Knox, and even claimed in court to still love her.

A Mom’s Marriage With Her Son Didn’t Work Out, So She Married Her Daughter

There’s nothing like the love between a parent and their child. But in the case of one Oklahoma mother, the love she felt for her children was a little too strong, legally speaking.

Police discovered that Patricia Ann Spann, 43, had married her own 25-year-old daughter, whose name is an unfortunate trinity of porn pseudonyms: Misty Velvet Dawn. Police learned of the unholy union after conducting a child welfare check. And that’s not all: they found that Patricia Ann had previously married her own son, Cody Spann, in 2008, though he filed for divorce after only 15 months, citing “incest” as the reason for their split.  

Both women were arrested, apparently at a moment when both were wearing Superman shirts, if their mugshots are any indication. But Patricia claimed she had a good reason to think she could marry her own daughter. She had lost custody of three of her children many years ago. They children were raised by their grandmother on their father’s side, and Patricia had only rekindled her relationship with her daughter a mere two years ago. Because she did not appear by name on Misty’s birth certificate, she figured it would be okay for the two to get married. Apparently, paperwork seemed more binding to Misty than, say, blood or DNA.

While Patricia Ann said that she married her son in order to avoid being deployed, she claimed she only married her daughter in the hopes of adopting another child. Which, theoretically she would not be blood-related to, so maybe she was hoping to marry that child, too. However, Patricia Ann’s ex-husband-slash-son, Cody Spann, told a local news station that he thought his mother was a “worthless” individual had had coerced his sister into the marriage.

“For you to want to put your own daughter through this, what kind of person are you? If that’s what you want that’s on you, but none of us kids want that, and now you got my sister behind bars because of your choices, why don’t you let that sit on you as a mom.”

It’s not clear if Patricia Ann and her Misty Velvet Dawn had an intimate relationship, but under Oklahoma law, a marriage between close family members is still illegal, even if the couple never rounds first base.

Photo Credit: Stephens County Sheriff’s Department

Diane Zamora, Deathly Jealous

Diane Zamora was a beautiful young teenager who got to experience her first love, her first heartbreak, her first kill and her first night in jail all in a year’s time. She foolishly squandered her bright future to answer the green-eyed monster’s siren song, and now she’ll die behind bars.

Back in 1995, Diane was in love with a student at a different high school. His name was David Graham. They planned to marry on August 13, 2000 after they both graduated college. Diane was committed to remaining a virgin until that date, but David, well, not so much. Despite this supposed devotion to one another, David soon revealed that he had cheated on her with Adrianne Jones. David and Adrianne were both members of the track team at their high school. A devastated and envious Diane felt there was only one way for her lover to right this wrong: he had to kill her.

On December 4, 1995, David called Adrianne and asked her out on a date. Adrianne wouldn’t have been allowed to go on the late-night rendezvous, but she slipped out of her house and allowed David to pick her up. She did not know that Diane was hiding in the hatchback area of the car.

The plan was that David would take Adrianne to a remote area, where Diane would rise up behind her and snap her neck. Once she was dead, they’d weight her body down and dumped it in a lake. Now that works in movies, but silly Diane didn’t realize that snapping someone’s neck is much harder in real life.

The couple struggled with Adrianne, and she escaped, sprinting away from them across the field. David would later say that Diane told him they couldn’t let Adrianne go, lest she tattle on them, so David chased her down and shot her. Diane asked him to shoot her a second time, just to be sure, so he did.

They went home and Adrianne’s body was discovered the following day, right where they had left it.

For nine months, no one knew what had happened to Adrianne. Devastated classmates wandered the halls of her former school in disbelief and grief. But eventually, Diane dished to one of her classmates who ratted her out to police.

The tawdry teen love triangle depicted by the media may not have been as such. Whether Adrianne and David actually had sex is up for debate. Friends of Adrianne say that it’s unlikely, and that what’s more feasible is that she thought David was having a rough time and agreed to offer him an ear. David at one point said he never slept with Adrianne, but had lied about it to Diane for no apparent reason. Later, he said that he had in fact slept with Adrianne, but had changed his tune at the advice of his lawyers.

Both were arrested and tried separately. Both were sentenced to life in prison. David has since turned to ministry and is studying to become a pastor. He has since married a woman named Charlotte Gilliam. Diane also married. She married Steven Mora, a thief who was serving four years for threatening someone. They married without ever meting in 2003, but they divorced in 2010.

Photo Credit: YouTube

Don’t Hide Mary Winter’s Methadone

A woman has been charged with trying to murder her husband in the driveway of their home in front of their teen daughter. Her twisted motivation: he done stole her methadone.

Mary Winter, 42, of Johnson City, Tenn. has been arrested and was charged with attempted first-degree murder on Tuesday, September 20. She is accused of shooting her husband, Billy Nutter, twice in the driveway of their home.

Mary confessed to police that she did in fact pull the trigger, but she had a reason. Earlier that same day, she went out and bought a gun in the hopes of convincing her husband to give back her methadone, which she believed he had either stolen or hid from her. Apparently, negotiations did not go smoothly, so she shot him once in the arm and once in the chest. Nutter survived, and the couple’s 16-year-old daughter witnessed the shooting and recounted events to police.

Methadone, for those of you not in the know, is an opioid pain killer that is commonly used to help heroin addicts ween off the drug. The good news for Mary Winter is that some prisons actually do offer methadone therapy for addicts…but it’s not clear if Mary’s does.

Photo Credit: Johnson City Police Department

Sharon Harry Will Stab You If You Deny Her Sex

Being rejected is always tough, and no one would blame you for being pouty about it. But if you’re Sharon Harry, you skip the waterworks and head straight for your cutlery drawer.

Sharon Harry, 61, was charged with aggravated assault after she allegedly attacked her roommate in their Trenton, New Jersey apartment. Sharon was apparently feeling a bit frisky that night and attempted to seduce him. He wasn’t feeling it and told her as much. Any rational person would have respected their lover’s decision and maybe booked a little alone time with the Internet and a battery-operated device. But not Sharon. Her next move was to walk into the kitchen, grab a knife and shove it in the man’s chest.

The roommate was able to relate the story to police and is likely to survive, though officials say his wound was quite severe.

Apparently, this bizarre outburst is Sharon’s first brush with the law. She has been since ordered to stay away from the victim.

Photo Credit: Mercer County Prosecutor’s Office

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