Monday, April 22, 2019
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Casey Anthony’s Bodyguard Says She Done It

According to Casey Anthony’s bodyguard hired to protect the then 25-year old mother shortly after her arrest for murder, everybody kind of knew that Casey Anthony was guilty of killing her two year old daughter.

Bodyguard Rob Dick went on the Allegedly podcast where he declared Casey Anthony guilty “without a doubt” and then promptly insinuated that tons of moms murder their children and he’s not sure why the Casey Anthony case garnered so much attention. Dick’s second point is worth exploring, even as spouted out of his exaggerating mouth. Roughly 500 kids under five are killed by their parents each year in the United States. Statistically a tiny fraction obviously, though clearly devastating to family and community in any number. About the same number, one-third, are committed individually by mother or father. That would indicate that 150 small kids a year are killed by their mothers. Some would be instances of multiple homicides but that still equates to dozens of American each year who murder their little ones. And to Dick’s question about why Casey Anthony’s case received so much spotlight. That seems relatively easy. She’s pretty, she’s young, she’s white, and she fought the charges despite the obvious mountain of evidence against her. Not politically correct, but there you go. Shake Nancy Grace hard until she admits the same.

casey and caylee

Everybody but the empaneled jury who followed the case closely seemed to agree that the overwhelming evidence suggested Casey Anthony did commit homicide and bury her own toddler’s body in pursuit of some demented goal of independence and social freedom. Not much different than those teen girl who dump their newborn in the dumpster then head to the prom, only that baby is now walking and talking and you’re not seventeen. Though in the same heinous mother category.

As a rule, don’t bother listening to ex-bodyguards. Or any guy named “Dick” for that matter. More often than not these guys are trying to self-promote based on a loose former connection to celebrity. Casey Anthony guilty and everybody thought so? That’s not technically a revelation for a several years later headline.

 

Alaina Ferguson Couldn’t Resist the Park Bench Sex With Her High School Student

If you happen to be dating or engaged to be married or married to a reasonably attractive woman who happens to teach high school boys as her profession you might consider digging a bit into her accounting of her free time. Not to be the nosy or overbearing man, but there seems to be about an 82-percent chance these days she’s having beers and frequent sex at the park with one of her young male students. Is it really this rampant? Sure it’s still a statistical anomaly if you choose to look at it scientifically, which is not all that helpful when you’re the fiancé  of young high school teacher Alaina Ferguson in Plano, Texas watching your bride to be taken away in cuffs.

Ferguson was Plano Senior High School’s brand new algebra teacher and not long into her tenure she bought the oldest come on in the world as one of her randy sixteen year old students added his Snapchat name to the top of his completed math test to Ms. Ferguson. Dirty snaps and naked photo sharing ensued rather quickly. Within two weeks the pair were boinking on the park bench. Have you ever seen a park bench? Ah, young love. Splinters be damned!

The relationship quickly progressed into routine sexual encounters at the apartment of Ferguson’s fiancé  while he was on his frequent hunting trips. Only a horny sixteen year old could be so fearless to visit the woman of a man with a rifle for illicit sex behind his back. Though the incidents are referred to as “assaults” in the arrest reports and court case. As is the fact that Ferguson ordered pizzas and played beer pong with her young Lothario in between rounds of sex. The entire scene sounding like a horror chamber of torture and abuse.

planoseniorhighschool

Ferguson is now facing charges of sexual assault and providing alcohol to a minor. She’s out on $100,000 bond, sporting an ankle monitor, and forbidden from using the Internet or Social Media since clearly without Snapchat she might’ve instead taken up baking macaroons for church fundraisers. After arrested Ferguson noted that she knew what she was doing was wrong but it felt so good at the time. No kidding. Needless to say, her fiancé has called off the wedding. This is worse than insisting your annoying cousin Tina be invited to the wedding.

One of the students at the school noted that word quickly got out about the student-teacher affair as the boy began to brag. How can you not? Sixteen year old boys have zero sense of consequences. Yet we give them cars. And occasionally Algebra teachers on park benches. The same student noted that the school had an inordinate number of young, attractive teachers and that might be part of the problem. That seems sexist. Also agist. Also, completely accurate.

Woman Stabbed, Strangled And Beat Mother Of 2 For Dating Her Ex

Another day, another woman who decides to kill a woman over a man. Kira Kastenhuber, 39, has been sentenced to 15 years in prison for beating and stabbing a woman to death.

The victim’s name was Desirae Withey, 33. Prosecutors say that Kira showed up at Desirae’s Perry, NY home one early morning in February 2016 and choked, beat and stabbed Desirae until she was dead. Then Kira fled the scene. Desirae’s had two children, ages 2 and 6, who were both in the home at the time of the murder. The eldest discovered her mother’s body when she woke up that day and went to a neighbor for help.

Kira Kastenhuber (Image: Facebook)
Kira Kastenhuber (Image: Facebook)

Police found Kira at her mother’s home in Rochester. She had intended to kill herself after murdering Desirae and had overdosed on pills. She left behind a note confessing the crime and her intentions, but did not die.

At one point in time, Kira and Desirae had been friends and coworkers, but that friendship was over when the deceased began dating Kira’s ex. Kira had gotten drunk and confronted Desirae at an employee party and had shown up to her home in the past.

We’re not sure why this keeps happening. Are there no more men left in this world for these women to date? Laurel Sykes, 32, was just sentenced to 6 years for tossing a flaming cup of gasoline on a woman who was seeing the same man as she was. Chloe Thomas, 17, and her pal Chadd Raymond in Oklahoma were both accused of murdering another teenage girl, ostensibly because both girls were dating Chadd’s older brother. And over in Idaho, 27-year-old Ashley Howell allegedly convinced her estranged husband to trick his new girlfriend over to his place so that Ashley could leap out of hiding and whack her with a baseball bat. Why the ex agreed, we can’t be certain. But ladies, ladies, ladies. Go to a feminist poetry reading or something and knock it off.

Florida Woman Makes Bomb Threat To ‘Get More Me Time’

Jessica Ward, The 'Me Time' Bomber

There are dumb criminal websites and there is our nefarious female wrongdoer website. Today these two entities clash to bring you the story of Jessica Ward, a 24-year-old Florida woman. Ward picked the stupidest possible action she could think of in order to get a little more time for herself. Ward admitted to writing out a bomb threat last week so she could leave work for some “me time,” according to the Atlantic Journal-Constitution.

AJC adds in their report that the Alachua County Sheriff’s Office arrested Ward this past Tuesday, noting she “is not a student, but an employee of Aramark who was working at the Java Hut coffee kiosk located on campus on the day of the incident.” As one commenter astutely observes in the comments section, “I’m guessing she’ll have a lot more ‘me’ time, before and after her trial.”

It is pretty clear from the mugshot the Sheriff’s Office took of Ward (eyes up) that she seems a bit on the shocked side this was the sort of thing you could actually be arrested for. It seems that in an age of terrorist nut-jobs and daily workplace terrors, people tend to take threats of widespread destruction seriously. Who knew?

As far as the “me time” goes, we completely understand, though. It’s not clear whether Ward has children, but for those of us who do, your brain can go to some pretty drastic measures when it comes to carving out a portion of the day strictly for yourself. That’s partly why the bathroom tends to become one’s sanctuary as they get older. You would rather be locked away reading a book for 45 minutes in potentially objectionable air so you don’t have to answer the question, “But why mommy?” one more time.

Still, a word to the wise: don’t do bomb threats, and if you do them for stupid reasons like this one, don’t actually admit to it. Remember, the Internet forgets. From this day forward, Jessica Ward, in addition to having a criminal record, will be known as the Me-Time Bomber. Nobody wants that.

(Featured Image: Alachua County Sheriff’s Office)

Evil Conduit Janet Ayers Conjures Horrifying Image Of Donald Trump In A Red Pepper

Donald Trump Pepper Found By English Woman

Janet Ayers did not mean to give us nightmares. But sometimes people can be used as conduits of terror, and that’s just what happened when the woman from southern England was recently slicing up a red pepper. While most people conjure hopeful images like the face of Christ in fruits, veggies, paint stains, and dirt patterns, Ayers had to go off and bring the most horrific caricature of the new President-elect, Donald freakin’ Trump, to the masses. Prepare yourself. Things are about to get horrifying.

Yikes.

Ayers posted the photo to social media and it quickly took off from there. Perennial Trump-haters Huffington Post reached out to the woman to talk further about the circumstances surrounding the pepper slice — as if that is important at all — and while she has not responded to them, she did tell the British media that she and her friends were actually in the process of discussing the Donald while she was cutting into the pepper.

“It was as if the pepper was mirroring the conversation,” she said. “We ate it for dinner and suffered no ill effects. … We are trying to carry on our lives as normal, after the incident, but may approach the next pepper with caution.” 

Good idea.

Before giving Janet Ayers a free pass on this, need we remind you that Damien would not have been a problem as the Antichrist had his adopted parents not taken him on. At some point, you have to take some responsibility for the nightmares you unleash upon the world, and combining naturally occurring Donald Trump horror faces with social media is simply a recipe for disaster. Hasn’t this election season been torturous enough?

Some of Ayers’ own friends felt the same way. “Sigh,” wrote one Facebook commenter, “if it was so easy as to just chop him up into a salad and be done with this entire nightmare….lol!! Hope no one got sick from eating this foul-mouthed pepper!!”

(Featured Image: Gage Skidmore/Flickr Creative Commons/Resized and Cropped/CC BY-SA 2.0)

Pastel-Haired Mom Sentenced For Role In Teen Daughter’s Heroin Overdose

Jazzmyn Rood, 42, is a Concord, New Hampshire mother with hair like a unicorn and eyes like a portal to a deep hell dimension. She has also been convicted and sentenced to two years in her teenage daughter’s fatal overdose.

Jazzmen’s daughter, Evangelique Tarmey, died in October of 2015 after taking a dose of fentanyl. Fentanyl is a synthetic pain medication and it is very strong—50 to 100 time stronger than even morphine. Because it is so potent, it is easy to take too much. This is the drug that killed Prince. She was given the dose by Jazzmyn’s boyfriend, Mark Ross, who mistook it for heroin. He has since been sentenced to 20 years in prison.

Eve Tarmey (Image: Family Photo)
Eve Tarmey (Image: Family Photo)

According to police, the overdose happened in a motel. Mark and another friend, Leslie Aberle, had gone to Massachusetts to buy heroin. What they were sold was actually fentanyl. After the three adults shot up, a detective said that Mark put some of the not-heroin on a table and told Eve to, “do what you normally do.” Eve was dead by morning.

Jazzmen has been charged with concealing knowledge and giving false information to police, and has been in jail since she was arrested last year. The light sentence involves Jazzmyn’s overall lack of direct involvement. She didn’t buy the drugs, and she wasn’t in the room when her daughter did them.

A similar story unfolded in an Ohio motel. Brenda Frye, her daughter Heather Frye, and their friend were hanging out doing heroin in an Ohio motel. Heather’s son, 16-year-old Andrew, shot up some for himself in the motel’s bathroom and overdosed. Both his mother and grandmother were sentenced to 9 years in prison. It’s bad enough to be a heroin addict; it’s treacherous to pass it on to your children.

Image: Police Photo

Post Falls Police Officer Brenda Knight Charged With DUI

Officer Brenda Knight Charged

There is both a written and unwritten code among police officers that if you want to hold on to your job, you probably shouldn’t be partaking in the crimes you are policing against. It’s not like working at McDonald’s. Working there does not preclude you from eating a Big Mac.

When you wear the badge, you probably shouldn’t steal, murder, attack people or drive while intoxicated. The killing thing was back in the news this week with the news former Tulsa Officer Betty Shelby would go to trial for the shooting of an unarmed black men. Now Post Falls, Id., police officer Brenda Knight has the DUI thing covered.

Knight was cited and charged for driving under the influence on Saturday after trying to drive her car out of a ditch, according to police reports, reported here by KREM.

“Immediately on contact, I noticed the overwhelming odor of an alcoholic beverage coming from Knight’s person and on her breath,” a deputy wrote in the official police report, adding that his colleague had delayed reactions and slurred speech. “Knight told me the roads became slick and she ended up in the ditch.”

To her credit, Knight fessed up to having “a couple of beers” and one additional “drink,” but judging by the BAC of .25 — triple the legal limit — methinks she may not be telling the whole story. KREM notes that after a citation was given, she was released to the care of another driver — presumably one who wasn’t schnockered.

One might assume the incident would get Knight immediately canned, but if that’s happening, the Post Falls PD isn’t ready to say. The department released an official statement ticking all the boxes … does not comment on personnel matters, takes charges like these very seriously, yada yada yada. For now, she’s still one of Idaho’s finest.

(Featured Image: Post Falls Police Department)

Woman Sentenced To Jail For Stalking Herself

Here is a weird Black Mirror of a story. An Orange County woman has been sentenced to a year in jail for stalking herself. Prosecutors said that Stephani Ranae Lawson, 25, of Las Vegas created a fake Facebook account masquerading as her ex-boyfriend, Tyler Parkervest. Orange County officials come in because Stephani was living in Lake Forest at the time she made the account.

Using the account, she sent herself a number of threatening messages and accused Tyler of stalking her. She said he drove by her house looking for her. She said that Tyler once held her at knifepoint in his car, and that he repeatedly told her he wanted to kill both her and her daughter. One of the messages even mentioned raping her daughter, and told her not to testify against him in court, or else. In total, she called the police on Tyler eight times.

facebook-screenshot
(Image: Flickr)

Her bewildered ex was arrested four times over the course of four months and was initially charged with various crimes, including violating a restraining order and threatening to kill her. However, what Stephani had in deviance, she lacked in intelligence. An investigation revealed that she had used her own IP address and devices to send the messages, which led police to believe her ex. All charges against the boyfriend were dropped.

The couple had been together about 10 months, and had lived for a time in Tyler’s grandparents’ home. His grandmother kicked her out after she pushed Tyler over during an argument.

At not point, Tyler said that Stephani told her she was pregnant and asked to meet up. When he arrived at her home, she got in his car and two armed men jumped out from behind a parked car. One of them was armed. Tyler drove away from the men, and Stephani later claimed that Tyler had tried to kidnap her.

Tyler’s grandmother died before the charges against the grandson she so ardently defended were dropped.

Image: Orange County District Attorney’s Office

Woman Arrested In Boy’s Death, Previously Convicted In Torture Case

Child Abuse Leads To Woman's Arrest

A Milwaukee woman has been arrested in connection with a 7-year-old boy’s death, according to a report from the Journal-Sentinel Online. There were two women involved in the case — a 44- and 47-year-old, unnamed because they have yet to be charged. Police say the 44-year-old woman has unfortunate experience with this sort of thing.

First, the current details. A 7-year-old boy was taken to the hospital earlier this week with numerous injuries, prompting an autopsy to be ordered to determine the cause of death. In the meantime, as authorities investigated the two women, they found the 44-year-old had a similarly dark and disturbing case on her resume.

Going back 14 years, she was convicted in a torture case that resulted in the death of a 1-year-old boy named Bryan, who was literally tortured for two weeks. The woman received 18 months in prison for her role in the crime. She got off lightly because her role was a simple neglect charge. Her sister and daughter were the ones charged with abuse of the baby, who sustained ”

bruises all over his body, head trauma and a split lip” with the “most grievous injury” to his left arm, the Journal-Sentinel reported. “It had been broken twice, ballooned with swelling and developed gangrene, causing his skin to slough off. The woman and others claimed the child had suffered a spider bite,” wrote reporter Ashley Luthern.

The sister, who was 19 at the time of the 2003 crime, was sentenced to 17 years in prison with 13 years of extended supervision, while the woman’s daughter received 10.5 years in prison and 12 years of extended supervision. Now that the woman is yet again involved in the death of the child, one wonders if 18 months the first time around was enough. At the very least, some folks should probably just never go within a country mile of a child. But what does it say about a justice system that allows these types of things to turn into repeat offenses? To be the most prosperous country in the world, it sure sucks to be a kid.

(Featured Image: Pixabay)

Dorothea Puente: Serial Killer Of The Elderly

Dorothea Puente, Cooking With A Serial Killer, Published In 2004

Dorothea Puente is another criminal rarity — female serial killer. Suspected of nine murders, she was convicted of three and died in prison at the age of 82. Puente had the cards stacked against her early in life. Her parents were cotton pickers, so not of the highest socioeconomic standing, and they would die within one year of each other while Dorothea was just eight and nine years old.

Eventually taken in by relatives, Puente by then was a troubled soul and spent much of her youth in bad marriages starting at the age of 16. She had two daughters before her 20th birthday, neither of whom she kept. She later suffered a miscarriage and gave another child up for adoption. During each of her failed unions with men, she committed petty crimes that graduated in severity.

In 1981, she moved into an upstairs apartment at 1426 F Street in downtown Sacramento and began targeting the elderly, whom she would defraud by forging checks or withholding mailed payments while they lived with her in the apartment, which she ran as a boarding house. It was later found that at least some of these elderly person’s deaths were not coincidental.

The first was reportedly Ruth Monroe, who died of an overdose. It was initially ruled a suicide. Everson Gillmouth, a man she had a brief relationship with, also went missing. Not all of her crimes were easy to pin down, and Dorothea liked it that way. When she was finally brought to trial for her crimes in 1993, she maintained her innocence, stating that all of the victims had coincidentally died of “natural causes.”

The jury didn’t buy it, voting 11-1 for conviction on all counts. They were charmed to a degree, though — enough to spare her the death penalty. She would serve out her life sentence at the Central California Women’s Facility in Chowchilla, Madera County, California.

Dorothea’s crimes have since lived on in pop culture. She served as the inspiration for an episode of Tales from the Crypt, was spotlighted on the ID documentary series Deadly Women, and even, with the help of author Shane Bugbee, penned the cookbook Cooking with a Serial Killer.

(Featured Image: Cooking with a Serial Killer, 2004)

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