Oh, the trouble you can get into as a butt model in the Southern Hemisphere. And when you talk about the Miss BumBum competition in Brazil, it’s no holds-barred, though perhaps implants.

First, it’s worth noting, as ballyhooed as the BumBum contest is in the media because they love an excuse to run the photos, it’s not a particularly classy competition by any standards. Many of the contestants hailing from Brazil’s 27 states are not exactly lookers, the annual contest seems to take place three times a year and in somebody’s backyard, and the prize money is about $12K in endorsements to the winner. So, it’s a glorified Daytona Beach wet tee contest during Spring Break, except for big bottoms. It’s unclear what the judges base the judging on, but assume its not above boards.

That being said, it seems that a few weeks ago, a model who goes by Ellen Santana was awarded the fake gold sash for first place. This didn’t sit well with the runner-up, Aline Uva, which also sounds like a fake name, who rushed the stage screaming that Santana had butt implants which are not allowed in the competition. Uva cried with the claim that she put hours in the gym into her hiney, and promptly stole the winner’s sash and ran off-stage. You come for the rears, you stay for the drama.

After much deliberation, the BumBum Committee, imagine that on your LinkedIn profile, has demanded Uva return the sash to Santana, along with $30,000 for breaking her BumBum contract and for ruining the reputation of the competition. That seems like a hefty fine considering the small stakes of the competition, but you can’t put a price on even a shoddy reputation I suppose.

It should be noted the competition claims the girls are all butt-X-rayed prior to the competition to assure no implants. Though if you’ve followed the Kardashians through the years you know they did that stupid TV show segment where they had their derrieres X-ray to show no implants. Then they promptly went to the doctor who transplants fat from their wastes into their bottoms to inflate them to max capacity. Though Uva claims she has proof Santana cheated. Don’t wait on that to appear.

The BumBum Committee has given Uva a week or a month or ten years to pay the fine and return the sash or face a lawsuit which she surely fears because she likely has up to forty bucks in her bank account. She is claiming that she’s book a major nude magazine in Brazil so maybe two hundred bucks in her bank account.

We’ll keep you updated. Because we care.