There are two kinds of crimes. Those that are, wow, what kind of animal would do that. And those that are, meh, I could see myself being in that spot and young and dumb and doing the same thing. Both criminal, one not so redeemable ever. That might include breaking into a family’s garage on Christmas to steal the Barbie Doll set they bought for their daughter and an assortment of other family gifts.

This was Fresno, not Beverly Hills. Assume that these gifts were not so easily purchased by the parents. Michelle Melikian, like the Honey Badger, simply did not give a shit. With her accomplice, Randy Keck, she broke into the garage of an unattended house and borrowed for herself all of the family’s Christmas gifts. To the tune of around $2,500. Quite a haul. If you’re an evil horrible person.

Robbing Wells Fargo is one thing. Still wrong, but probably not too many girls waiting for their first Barbie doll from Santa are going to spend Christmas crying over the heist of a mega-bank. Especially since their parents’ tax dollars cover the cost to help Wells Fargo replace their losses. This kind of larceny seems like the proverbial tale that gets St. Peter shaking his head in the negative at the pearly gates. Though Melikian might try to steal those pearls as well.

Thankfully, the family violated had a working security camera which caught the two Grinchy knuckleheads on film, which was promptly spread around the area by way of social media. The police tracked the couple down to a home where Melikian was spotted and, not surprising, was squatting with her boyfriend without the landlord’s knowledge. Only Melikian was home and arrested. The man who steals Christmas presents and has the temerity to call Melikian his girlfriend remains on the run. Presume he won’t last long on the lam. Smarts do not seem to be his thing.

Photo credit: Fresno Bee