There are countless tales of men being drugged and robbed by young women in Florida. If you find yourself receiving unusual and flattering attention from a woman whilst in the Sunshine State, you might want to start keeping an eye on your cocktail glass.

Witney Tolbert showed up at the home of a much older gentleman who she apparently occasionally socializes with though we’re told there’s nothing untoward or intimate going on. Merely a young woman in the neighborhood befriending a 73-year old man, as you often seen on TV shows though never in real life.

In her last visit to her senior friend, Tolbert brought over a friendly bottle of wine. The wine it turned out laced with a heavy dose of Xanax. The victim took a couple swigs with his younger lady just-friend and felt rather feint. Tolbert generously helped him to the bedroom where he slept soundly for the next twelve to fourteen hours while she cleaned his place out of of $78,000 worth of booty. Since nobody you know has $78K worth of merch in their homes, presume that Witney Tolbert happened to know this guy was a jackpot when she started emptying pill casings into the chablis.

Tolbert has been arrested and charged with all sorts of crimes, including on the theft and robbery, also poisoning which under the penal code counts as attempted murder. There’s your rub. The lady folk do love their poison.

It used to be that all the PSAs and after school specials were designed to warn women against having their drinks roofied up by sinister males and date rape offenders. Based on what’s been happening in Florida, as a guy, I’d insist on uncorking or popping off all my own tops. No offense, Ms. Tolbert, but if you’re not here for paid sex than I merely have to presume you’re here to conk me on the head and steal me treasure. You don’t get to be 73 and still alive by accident. Neighborhood watch starts at home.