Do you realize how very few women in this country teach high school physics or other STEM (Science Technology Engineering Math) classes? Look it up. It’s an uphill battle for women in this academic discipline. Which makes Alabama’s Greensboro High School physics teacher Courtney Wallace something of an anomaly. Her biology degree from the University of Alabama also something of an anomaly. Less anomalous these days, her arrest for having sex with a seventeen year old student from her school. She also sent dirty pictures. That seems to be an obligatory add-on in these cases.

In the event you see yourself being arrested in the near future for sex with a student, you should consider changing your online school teacher profile, and associated self-description:

Growing up, she always wanted to work in a field where she could help others and make a difference in the world. You can almost always find her with her nose in her book, which is her first love or watching Jeopardy (and college Football in the Fall). She loves to travel and believes her wanderlust soul comes from moving around as a child.

Really, nothing you write kindly about yourself won’t seem ironic after sexual crimes arrest. Unless you happen to write how much you love illicit sex with your students in your profile. Though the school principal might see that as a red flag.

Many more of these female teacher and boy student scenarios seem to be prosecuted under the new laws forbidding teacher and student sexual encounters. I could name the reasons why that’s necessary if you really want to admit to not knowing why it’s an inherently bad idea to allow. In many of these states especially in the South, the legal age of sexual consent is sixteen. Hence, why the state legislatures felt a need to specifically pass laws telling teaches you can’t boff your students even if they’re legally of age. And you’re really really horny and unhappy at home.

In fact, the Alabama law against teacher student relations applies until the student turns 19. So you’ve got the high school naughty knickers parties between instructor and pupil pretty well sewn up. You have to move on to junior colleges if you’re looking to party hard after class with your students. The violation of the law is a felony, which is pretty serious considering even the “aggrieved party”, or in this case, the seventeen year old boy having unlimited sex, is considered an adult male in the state.

Whether or not these new teacher-specific sex laws have any practical effect on the rampant number of female teachers inviting their male students into the backs of their cars remains to be seen. Currently, you’d have to say zero impact. It’s possible these women are even delighting in the danger of the criminal element to the relationship. I’m speculating, which is fair to do with crazy people.

Poor Courtney Wallace. Giving female physics teachers a bad name since, well, since today.