Much like the film concept of The Purge which provides everybody one night a year of legally free criminal behavior, what happens in a Taco Bell drive-thru late night can’t possibly be grounds for criminal arrest and prosecution. Short of running a genocide syndicate in your Dodge while waiting to order a Burrito Supreme and some forty-nine cent churros, what happens at Taco Bell after midnight should stay at Taco Bell.

Consider that rule to be triple-fold at 3:40 am on Christmas Eve. If you start checking for drunken misfits during that hour at a fast food drive-thru, you might as well start arresting people by pulling their names out of a hat. Amanda Gonzalez was noticeably not moving in her vehicle in the drive-thru at a Cleveland area Taco Bell at this hour, causing the two stoners working the franchise graveyard shift to call authorities. The police found Gonzalez drunk and asleepĀ at the wheel of her running car. She was charged with not quite driving but still in control of a vehicle while intoxicated. There’s no acronym for that crime, it’s too complicated.

The real question really is, can’t you merely arrest everybody in line at Taco Bell in the middle of the night? Surely there rate of law breaking must be close to one-hundred percent to some degree. I’m now speaking on behalf of the four times in my own life I’ve found myself in such an establishment at such an hour. It was never on a study break.

Let Amanda Gonzalez be a message to those intoxicated at three in the morning. Stay where you are. Perhaps scream at a lamp post or fight with a friend over something that makes no sense. If you’re hankering for Taco Bell, that’s a clear sign you should not be operating a motor vehicle.