Brooke Houts is a YouTube personality. Go figure what that means. She’s semi-attractive, bubbly, and she has a simpleton hook — her Doberman. The two of them pal around together in a self-shot video and somehow 300,000 people subscribe. This used to be the turf of lonely old ladies. Now that’s half the Internet under 30. Get out and live a little, people. But I digress.
Somehow, Houts uploaded a video to YouTube where she was going to prank her dog, you know, as people do, but instead appeared to whack him, spit on him, and do other things that wouldn’t even fly in a bestiality 4chan clip thread. Assume the upload, or the part where she forgot to edit out the moments where she treats her dog incredibly poorly, was done accidentally. But the damage was done.
You can not be mean to animals on social media. You shouldn’t be mean to them not on social media either, but online you will be torn to shreds. And Hout was. First, somebody got PETA involved who decried Houts as a pet-Hitler. Then a pro-wrestler called her an unfit animal owner. Tons of other people started flooding her YouTube page and videos with nasty comments about Houts’ nastiness toward her dog. And finally, LAPD announced it was launching an investigation into potential animal cruelty charges.
Now, I love dogs. I love them more than people, though I still recognize their biological differences. I’m not a Charlize Theron level science denier. But I also realize that some dogs have shittier owners, and sometimes those shitty owners are not nice to their pets and that that’s sad, but not quite the same as a parent beating a child.
What’s most galling is the phoniness of a phony chick on a phony medium phonily selling her lovable relationship with her dog, only to be doing quite the opposite when she thinks nobody is looking. In short, she’s every stage mom ever. For that, she deserves to clean up dog poop for 50 hours of community service. So sayeth me.