source site My general philosophy on the dangers associated with any given activity, like travel, is directly related to how many potential kooks you’re trapped with on that activity. Hence, I’m scared to fly. But not because of the reliability of aircraft and pilots — that’s tremendous. It’s the hordes of possible lunatics packed with me in that flying metal tube that has me swallowing Xanax like they’re hot dogs and I’m Joey Chestnut on the 4th.
go site In England, a barista on a U.K. flight to Turkey waited about an hour into the flight, you know that time when you’ve just found a way to make your legs comfortable in a functional Chinese midget acrobats cube, to burst into a frenzy.
enter site Chloe Haines, 25, felt it was high time to rush the cockpit while screaming like a mad-woman. If you know anything about planes post 9/11, cockpit doors are now locked steel barriers. Hence, Haines ditched Plan A and instead turned her screaming Banshee routine on the emergency exit door. The one she tried to pry open before being tackled by fellow passengers.
Many on the plane described Haines running up and down the aisles, screaming, “I’m going to kill everyone”, and knocking over stewardesses like a Heisman candidate, if not the statue itself. One dude said Haines showed “super human strength”. That seems far fetched if you’ve ever met a barista — psychotic break or not.
Eventually, a bunch of people sat on top of the kicking and screaming Haines as they turned back to England for a special landing.
Folks near an Eastern military base in England report the sonic booms of RAF aircraft scrambled to intercept the commercial jet. A fun new practice.
Obviously, passengers were pissed that they had to turn around and experienced a multiple hour delay on their trip to Turkey. Maybe they all know something about Turkey you and I don’t.
According to reports, Haines has been having difficulty lately, especially related to alcohol. Consider this a minor blip. The Brits did. They released her on bond. I wonder where she is right now — or who’s macchiato she’s preparing.