The last time we checked in on Mary Beth Haglin, she was pleading not guilty to charges being one horny female teacher sleeping with one even hornier teenaged student out in her car at the park everyday after school. Odd in so much as the Iowa high school teacher admitted the sex part with the seventeen year old student. Haglin’s defense rests on the fact that she was the victim of the sexual relationship in the case, not the boy. Seems flimsy. In the meantime, she’s stripping.

You know Dr. Phil can’t resist a good fired predatory teacher turned sex worker worker story so he invited Mary Beth Haglin on to his show to share her side of the store. The mustached talk show dramatist also brought on the high school girl who had told her mom about the inappropriate teacher-student relationship, compelling her mom to turn over evidence of the affair to the school authorities. Before the hard evidence of love letters and seductive selfies, it seems many in the school including administrators were vaguely aware of the sexual relationship, but trying to keep it under wraps. Who says bureaucracy and CYA is dead in America.

Haglin was in love, what could she do but lots and lots of sex?
Haglin was in love, what could she do but lots and lots of sex?

Haglin claims the boy came onto her repeatedly, sent her notes and pleas for her time, and when she had a nasty break up with her own boyfriend, she decided what the heck, I’ll respond to the boy. And, naturally, have sex with him in the back of my car at the park. So a very friendly response. Then she began sending her student the lewd photos of herself. As usual, Dr Phil cut to the chase with a rehearsed line:

“YOU HAVE GOT TO BE DUMBER THAN A BOX OF ROCKS TO SHARE NAKED PICTURES WITH A 17-YEAR-OLD BOY.”

To be fair, Mary Beth Haglin taught English, not math. Adding things up wasn’t her specialty. An inordinate number of these female teachers having sex with their students seem to be in the literature and English arenas. One might surmise they’ve read many a romance novel. The Patriot Act is designed to stop terrorists by examining their library checkouts. Perhaps one ought be devised for female English teachers. Have you been splurging on taboo erotica involving women with teen boys? We might just move you to Girls P.E.

Nobody does sexting re-creation staged video like The Dr. Phil Show
Nobody does sexting re-creation staged video like The Dr. Phil Show

Mary Beth Haglin explained that while awaiting trial on the charges, she’s lost her job and her apartment and has turned to stripping to make ends meet. It’s unclear if this is true or not, but it makes for great television, especially when Dr. Phil offered to assist her out of her life of taking her clothes off to Aerosmith for passing truckers. Dr. Phil forgot to inquire whether or not she perhaps liked this new profession. You wouldn’t normally think this of a woman, but this is a woman who slept with her high school student, so, maybe at least ask.

Haglin’s facing some serious charges and potential repercussions at her trial in November. It seems unlikely that her defense strategy can prevail, regardless of how hard the boy pressed for the sexual relationship. It’s hard to claim assault after 200 trips to the back of your own car. Also, those naked photos you kept sending on Facebook. This seems past the point of crying working in the courtroom. America has likely lost another splendid educator for five to seven years.

Photo credit: Dr. Phil Show