If you happen to be dating or engaged to be married or married to a reasonably attractive woman who happens to teach high school boys as her profession you might consider digging a bit into her accounting of her free time. Not to be the nosy or overbearing man, but there seems to be about an 82-percent chance these days she’s having beers and frequent sex at the park with one of her young male students. Is it really this rampant? Sure it’s still a statistical anomaly if you choose to look at it scientifically, which is not all that helpful when you’re the fiancé  of young high school teacher Alaina Ferguson in Plano, Texas watching your bride to be taken away in cuffs.

Ferguson was Plano Senior High School’s brand new algebra teacher and not long into her tenure she bought the oldest come on in the world as one of her randy sixteen year old students added his Snapchat name to the top of his completed math test to Ms. Ferguson. Dirty snaps and naked photo sharing ensued rather quickly. Within two weeks the pair were boinking on the park bench. Have you ever seen a park bench? Ah, young love. Splinters be damned!

The relationship quickly progressed into routine sexual encounters at the apartment of Ferguson’s fiancé  while he was on his frequent hunting trips. Only a horny sixteen year old could be so fearless to visit the woman of a man with a rifle for illicit sex behind his back. Though the incidents are referred to as “assaults” in the arrest reports and court case. As is the fact that Ferguson ordered pizzas and played beer pong with her young Lothario in between rounds of sex. The entire scene sounding like a horror chamber of torture and abuse.

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Ferguson is now facing charges of sexual assault and providing alcohol to a minor. She’s out on $100,000 bond, sporting an ankle monitor, and forbidden from using the Internet or Social Media since clearly without Snapchat she might’ve instead taken up baking macaroons for church fundraisers. After arrested Ferguson noted that she knew what she was doing was wrong but it felt so good at the time. No kidding. Needless to say, her fiancé has called off the wedding. This is worse than insisting your annoying cousin Tina be invited to the wedding.

One of the students at the school noted that word quickly got out about the student-teacher affair as the boy began to brag. How can you not? Sixteen year old boys have zero sense of consequences. Yet we give them cars. And occasionally Algebra teachers on park benches. The same student noted that the school had an inordinate number of young, attractive teachers and that might be part of the problem. That seems sexist. Also agist. Also, completely accurate.