Here’s the thing about lust — it’s a very healthy human emotion. The unhealthy part is where you find yourself going at it with your boyfriend and some Bud Light empties within eyeshot of an elementary school playground. Even on the weekend, when school’s not in session, parents and kids are using that play structure, and do not take kindly to some horny early 20-somethings undressed and humping twenty yards away. Cops will be called. Consider waiting until two in the morning like decent sex fiends.

Ashley Carrelli, 22, and her consenting adult boyfriend, Jacoby Schmidt, 23, were still going at it when Canton, Ohio police rolled up on them outside the Walker Elementary School playground. According to officers, their passion was not the least bit weakened by the arrival of authorities, who spotted the lovemaking couple and the empty beer cans. Carrelli was said to be naked, and while partially covered by a blanket, her breasts were fully exposed to all of the playground denizen. So there’s that.

Carrelli and Jacob were hauled off and under arrest for public indecency and disorderly conduct. They should consider themselves lucky not to be facing any serious sexual charges for exposing themselves to minors, which some states would slap onto these counts in a jiffy. The couple stated they didn’t realize they were even near a playground or that anybody could see them having sex. That sounds like the beer and hormones talking.

Mugshots for our licentious young couple.

Imagine the amazing story they’ll be able to tell their grandkids one day. Hey, your grandma and I were humping in front of kids yours very age, all drunk and burpy on a blanket outside your very elementary school back in 2018. Good times. Assume the look on Carrelli’s mugshot face is an expression of immediate remorse.