Brooke Houts Was Very Mean to Her Dog on YouTube

Brooke Houts is a YouTube personality. Go figure what that means. She’s semi-attractive, bubbly, and she has a simpleton hook — her Doberman. The two of them pal around together in a self-shot video and somehow 300,000 people subscribe. This used to be the turf of lonely old ladies. Now that’s half the Internet under 30. Get out and live a little, people. But I digress.

Kentucky Mom Manages to Pull Cocaine from Vagina Hiding Spot While in Cuffs

Sometimes you read stories about late 20-something moms arrested for drinking and driving with their babies in the car, and they look like hell and it’s easy to blame drugs because it’s always addiction. Though in the case of Kathryn Ahlers, 28, of Kentucky, even her old social media posts show her to be an Insane Clown Posse Juggalo, so the Fates probably had it in for her before the drugs.

Woman Charged With Open Lewdness for Peeing on Walmart Potatoes

Last week, police outside Pittsburgh put out a screengrab of a Walmart security camera shot of a woman suspected of peeing on the potatoes in the produce section of the store earlier. The woman was spotted by a store employee who insists she saw what she saw. And it’s not like you would mistake a woman especially squat-squirting a pile of potatoes for any other known human activity.

Norwegian Hottie Bilked Out of $200K by Con Man She Met on Tinder

Cecilie Fjellhoy, a Norwegian grad student in digital design, whatever that is, living in London, was certain she had met the perfect guy on Tinder. And by perfect, I mean he was both handsome and rich. Score. Maybe not for feminism, but for real-life women who still want to marry some rich handsome guy and do maybe a little digital design on the side after yoga and macchiatos.

California Girls HS Basketball Coach Arrested for Sexual Relations With Former Team Member

Amy Emerald, 42, who may also go by the name, Amy Santos, was arrested this week by Tuolumne County Sheriff’s Department and charged with lewd or lascivious acts on a child of 14 or 15 years of age. Subsequent information revealed that the student fingering Emerald, pun intended, claimed she was 15 when the sexual relations with her high school basketball coach.

Dumb Hot Drunk Chick Arrested in Taco Bell Drive-Thru

Elianna Aguilar-Aguilar, 23, of Cornelius, Oregon, outside of Portland, was arrested over the weekend for DUI, whilst in the drive-thru line at Taco Bell. Now, we all know everybody in the Taco Bell drive thru-line after normal hours is intoxicated to some degree. We just don’t often see them lit up by the cop car behind them in line.

Topless Photobomb Ruins (or Improves) Family Photo

According to fast-growing Texas lore, Davila was rifling through sets of photographs she took of her family at Garner State Park about 100 miles west of San Antonio when she noticed a boob-flashing photobomber in her family snapshot. Heaven’s to Besty. Though not Ross, that’s racist.

Judge Tracie Hunter Dragged Out of Courtroom and into Jail

Former Cincinnati juvenile court judge, Tracie Hunter, was found guilty a few years back of mishandling, as in intentionally losing, confidential material in a case involving her own brother’s misconduct at his County job. You could say that’s sisterly love, but in the case of a duly anointed judge messing with the law to help out a family member, it’s also a crime.

Kiara Cervantes Is Indeed a Customs and Border Patrol Sex Pot

During Pence’s visit to the various chain-linked pen holding Honduras’ B-students, cameras caught sight of a rather attractive and busty Latina Customs and Border Patrol officer. Naturally, since politics is incredibly boring, every male eyeball turned to stiffies over the seemingly too hot to be working for the government chick in the shot with the Veep.