Monday, November 12, 2018

UPDATE: Ripon High School Teacher Samantha Fitzpatrick Pleads Guilty to Sexual Assault of Male Student

You may recall that after a lengthy investigation that lasted most of 2017, attractive blonde Ripon, Wisconsin high school English teacher Samantha Fitzpatrick, 29, was arrested on multiple charges related to a six month long sexual interlude with a 17-year old student. It’s unclear who gave the final tip to authorities, but apparently the teacher and student’s inappropriate relationship was at least surmised by just about every student and teacher in the school. Multiple teachers reported speaking to Fitzpatrick about her looking far too cozy and cute with the boy during school hours in her classroom.

Of course, they were all onto something. Though both Fitzpatrick and the boy insisted there was no sexual contact between the two during initial interviews, everything broke down when cops delved into the Facebook and phone records between teacher and student, revealing graphic messages, requests for nudes, and adult role play back and forths. There’s your crack in the dam. And naturally what came next was an admission of humping at the local Comfort Inn, among other places. Passion must be served.

This week, in a plea deal that wiped away all the online and enticement charges, Fitzpatrick pleaded guilty to the lone sexual assault of her teen student. She faces up to six years on the single charge, though expect the end result at sentencing will be something far closer to one and done. Don’t let anybody tell you there isn’t a gender double standard in these matters. It’s clear. Though you may be okay with that because you were once a 17-year old boy and thoughts of your hot 29-year old English teacher mounting you at the Comfort Inn doesn’t feel like a crime.

Kimberly Winters Is Latest Female Teacher Arrested For Sex With High School Student

Loudon County, Virginia is loading up on the teacher arrests of late. The third this month being Kimberly Winters (Kimberly L. Winters to help distinguish from your friend Kim down the block), 32, an English teacher at Park View High School in Northern Virginia, charged with indecent liberties by a custodian. And no, not the janitor, but custodian as in somebody in charge of kids, as in, teacher. It all sounds so clinical the way it’s described in the arrest reports, but this may imply that the student in question was of legal age of consent, but still a student of Ms. Winters at Park View and therefore verboten.

According to police, Winters had sexual relations with a student at Park View HS between September and November of 2017. Why it took a year since the end of that torrid yet sad affair before her arrest is unclear. Detectives heading up the case are asking the public to come forward with any additional information regarding Ms. Winters, which could mean they suspect there might be more boys on her hit list.

Having lived in Northern Virginia for some number of years, I can attest to the fact that Kimberly Winters looks about like 40-70% of the women in the region. Meaning, she could have committed any number of crimes in the area where police would have to work off of photo or eye-witness descriptions and gotten away with it for just about forever. But, Winters chose sex with a student as her illicit side gig. Now she’s being held on bond in deep deep doo-doo. Never assume your high school teacher is all that smart. Though horny wouldn’t be a bad assumption.

Kierah Lagrave, 22, Facing Strangulation Charges for Choking Out a Bouncer… See the Video

You’d never want to live in a land without booze, even though it’d be undeniably less filled with idiocy and crime. So you must put up with the bar shenanigans of the likes of the mirthful petite workout girl, Kierah Lagrave, 22, a recent SUNY Oswego grad who took it upon herself to give a #MeToo choke out to a bouncer at a Plattsburgh, NY bar she mistakenly thought slapped her ass.

In the world of overreactions, putting a rear naked chokehold on a guy for copping a butt feel at a bar is probably a 6 or 7. When that guy is totally innocent of the groping, and you’ve drunkenly mistaken him as your gooser, then it rises to a 10.

As surveillance video clearly shows, Lagrave’s gal pal pats her on the ass as a joke when she’s not looking. Lagrave turns and sees the male bouncer walking past, jumps to a mighty conclusion, and wraps him up in a move she’s surely practiced many times in some kind of MMA or combat training class. Women rarely go for chokeholds unless trained. Especially so for the ladies standing all of 5-feet tall.

Presume the bouncer was too stunned to react to his first ever choke-out from behind, and slipped gently into the goodnight, or in this case, onto the floor unconscious. Lagrave, the vibrant “I will not be a victim any longer” hero, was arrested on charges of felony strangulation, because that’s basically what she did. Not to mention, to a completely innocent and unprepared man. She was released on her own recognizance pending arraignment. Presumably a tiny bleached blonde bodybuilder with big fake breasts isn’t much of a flight risk. Though she should be expecting a call from the UFC soonish.

The Curious ‘Inappropriate, Non Sexual Relationship’ Arrest of Elementary School Teacher, Lindsay Mages

This past week, Loudoun, Virginia sheriff’s deputies arrested Hillside Elementary School teacher, Lindsay Mages, 28, on charges of an “inappropriate non-sexual relationship causing mental injury” to a student from her school who she also occasionally cared for after school. Mages was not granted bail after her arrest, though nobody can seem to figure out the exact nature of her criminal actions, beyond the vague arrest charges.

The illicit activities are said to have taken place between Mages and her student and after-school ward between January and August of this current year. During this time, Mages also taught at the Discover Elementary school in the same town, Ashburn, Virginia. It’s unclear which of these two schools the student in questioned attended. And more in question, what the hell did she do to this kid if we’re talking strictly mental injuries?

The Internet is abuzz with possibilities, with some suggesting religious proselytizing, transgender deprecation, or some other attempts to fill this young kid with some kind of aberrant or even merely anti-parents philosophy that caused the kid suffering. This may seem a refreshing break from the far more typical sexual assault stories by teachers upon students we report nearly daily, but wait until you find out the precise nature of the offense before deciding so. I bet it’s going to be a doozy.

Mages does fit our typical screwed up female teacher profile of late 20’s, and recently married. Not to typecast, but that’s the sweet spot for most of these female teacher arrests.

High School Special Ed Teacher in Cincinnati Accused of Lesbian Sexual Affair with Student

It’s worth noting that Sycamore High School teacher, Jennifer Walsh, 26, is not accused of having sex with one of the special education students she works with at the school. That would be wrong on numerous levels, whereas having sex with a 17-year old typical student from the school over this past summer is only wrong on a few levels, most namely, the criminal level.

Up to five witnesses corroborated the tale of one Sycamore female student who claims she and Ms. Walsh got it on from May to August of this current year. Five witnesses is five to many in these types of illicit sexual relationship tales, preventing the defense of, she’s just a girl with a wild imagination or an axe to grind when I gave her a poor grade. Nope, your lesbian underaged love goose is cooked.

Jennifer Walsh

Local authorities within law enforcement spent some amount of time investigating this case whilst Ms. Walsh was on temporary leave from the school. Dotting the i’s and crossing the t’s and such. Finally, this past week she was formally indicted on two counts of sexual battery, and therein, tendered her resignation from Dear Old Sycamore.

If you think about it, there really is only one prime directive to being a teacher and it has nothing to do with teaching. Don’t touch the student bodies. It seems to be that one rule that is the hardest to keep.

Lodi, New Jersey Teacher and Mayor’s Daughter, Stephanie Carafa, Arrested for Sex With Young Teen

There’s probably a lot of pressure being the town mayor’s daughter. Also, we know the pressure of being a high school teacher. Sometimes, you need to let off steam. In these cases, might we recommend not sending naked selfies and having sex with your male student under the age of 16.

Stephanie Carafa, 32, made such an unwise decision of the heart. The daughter of Lodi, New Jersey Mayor, Emil Carafa, took her role as educator at Thomas Jefferson Middle School rather too far. To the point she was sending one of her students sexual texts, nude photos, and eventually, as always happens if not cut off at the Snapchat pass, sexual relations.

Carafa has taught social studies at the middle school since 2012. Following an investigation that likely began with the question, Johnny, why is your middle school teacher sending you photos of her vagina, Carafa was arrested and charged with aggravated criminal sexual contact and endangering the welfare of a child. Her dad, the town’s long time mayor fell back on the due process argument. Which is very Kavanaugh 2018, but sadly doesn’t hold as much water when your daughter’s naked body is plastered all over some early teen’s social media DMs. You’d expect a grown woman and teacher to understand the basic concepts of he-said-she-said. The videos ruin everything.

Teacher Michele Maynard, 36, Busted for Liquoring Up and Sexing Up Her 17-Year Old Female Student

A female Pennsylvania teacher’s aide has been hauled in by State Police on charges of kissing and deeply fondling her 17 year old female student on at least three occasions over this past summer. Michele Maynard, 36, served as an assistant in the high school classroom in Towanda, PA, where she was apparently considered the cool teach who related to the students on a peer level. That’s always a red flag that ought alert school authorities to keep an eye on Ms. Maynard. Though in this age of gender double standards, assume they weren’t quite as concerned with a female teacher being buddy buddy with the teens. They should have been.

According to police reports, Maynard, a married mother of five kids, bought beer for the 17-year old student, and felt her up at both the State Fair and her own home during her trifecta of illicit lesbian playtime. It also appears the hubby was quite aware of the proceedings, as texts indicate both his wife and teenage lover were texting him details of their encounters. Not sure if that’s a specific crime or not, but it’s certainly not going to put you up for Husband or Dad of the Year Awards in Towanda.

The teen girl eventually told her dad who went to authorities who arrested Maynard on institutional sexual assault (teacher and student) and corruption of minors. That plural in minors because during the course of the investigation, police found that mom had been buying beer for her own 14-year old daughter at the same time she was doing so for her teen lover. Who knows where that was headed given the kinky parents.

Maynard is facing two rather serious felony charges, meaning that at some point, the five kids will be left in the hands of dad who likes dirty texts from his wife about her teen plundering. You hope there’s a modestly high IQ aunt waiting in the wings somewhere.

Palo Alto Teacher, Dawn Giannini, 49, Busted for Making Porn With 14-Year Old Female Relative

In case you wondering what might constitute a story that has a little bit of everything, considering the arrest of Palo Alto, CA substitute teacher, Dawn Giannini, 49, on charges that she produced a video in 2014 of herself having sex with a then 14-year old girl who was also a relative. Woodside High School, where Giannini routinely taught, rushed immediately to assure the public that Giannini was not having sex on camera with any of her students. Just incest. So that was close.

Giannini may have gotten away with her bizarre sexual stunt which included three separate episodes of sexual relations with her young kin, except that the girl uploaded the video to Pornhub, because I guess when you’re 14 and having sex with your older teacher relative, you’re kind of advanced on such matters. Not sure how Pornhub ensures child porn isn’t posted to their warehouse of adult movie clips, but whatever the methodology, it certainly didn’t work.

One of the girl’s classmates was apparently a Pornhub fan and recognized the girl on the porn clip, and alerted their school principal. That must be a tough call for a kid. Yes, your classmate is fourteen and in porn, but you need to cop to your principal that you cruise Pornhub, so, big ups, I guess.

Giannini was arrested on multiple charges related to having sex with a fourteen-year old relative, and given $1.75 million bail, reflecting the rather serious nature of the offenses. This is certainly a new one. Certainly the female-female thing, the ages, and the porn video. All of it, this one has a little bit of everything.

Evil Middle School Girls in Florida Busted With Knives, Intent on Slaughtering, Drinking Blood of Smaller Students

I’m not one of those parental fanatics who believes horror movies and violent movies directly causes kids to become nuts and act out anti-socially. Yet there’s no denying that two middle school girls coming to school with knives right before Halloween to stab the crap out of other kids in the school bathroom, cut them apart, and drink their blood sounds rather Michael Myers-ish.

Thankfully, somebody in authority got tipped off to these two deluded and dangerous 11 and 12-year old respectively, students at Bartow Middle School in Bartow, Florida, who got as far as smuggling knives, scissors, and a pizza cutter from home into the school. Apparently the girls were at least strategic enough to consider an ambush position in the bathroom, and to wait for smaller kids to approach who they could attack more easily. That’s beyond pre-meditation, that’s downright young thrill-killer type thinking. According to police, after consuming the blood of fifteen dead, the girls planned to kill themselves. Think about the nuggets floating loose in these girls noggins the next time you imagine the crazy killers you see in the movies are only in the movies.

One of the kitchen knives confiscated by the police from the would-be murdering girls.

Girls being girls, especially young girls, imagine they blabbed to one or more kids in their class who told a teacher. When the girls didn’t show up for class, the search was on and the girls were apprehended, hopefully for a decade long therapeutic stint with the electric nodes on the head, though probably just a time out and a stern talking to. Happy early Halloween!

Lynn Burge Claims She Was Too Drunk to Remember Sex With Her High School Students

Oh, we got trouble down in Texas again. There is no doubt the state is the leader in female teacher and student sex cases. At least the ones made public. You could chalk this up to better investigating and reporting of such crimes in that particular state, but then you’d be making total supposition. The more likely scenario is that teachers in the Lone Star State, for whatever reason, are seeing fit to couple up with their kid students in rather noteworthy numbers.

Add to that list, Muenster High School teacher, Lynn Burge, 32. The married mother of two and “introduction to culinary arts” teacher (which may be your problem right there), stands accused of multiple crimes, including sex with one 16-year old student at her house after a drunken drive-around the woods evening, and sex with an 18-year old student months previous, which while the boy is a legal-aged adult, still falls under the statute forbidding teachers to hump their high school students of any age. Burge also got hit with a solicitation online charge for sharing naked photos of herself on Snapchat with the 16-year old. You know, as pre-culinary arts instructors are apt to do.

Somebody likely in the 16-year old’s family tipped off investigators who quickly gobbled up Burge, having her first answer to the teen’s claim that the two drove around the backwoods drunk for several hours, before she told him he could sleep in one of her kid’s bedrooms at her house, and eventually inviting him into her own for sex. As a defense, Burge seems to be sticking with a plan of being too drunk to remember:

“I don’t know, I hope not. I don’t know. I didn’t think I did because my clothes were on. Usually if that happens your clothes aren’t on. I don’t know, I don’t know, I can’t remember anything.”

You’re going to want to polish up that drunken blackout memory thing, teach. It’s the same defense she’s claiming on the night earlier in the year when she had unprotected sex with the 18-year old student. That’s by his account only so far, but given that she was sending nudes to the other teen on Snap, and admitted to driving him around drinking and inviting him to spend the night at her place while it was empty, you might take the logical leap to this crazy lady loves her booze and boys.

Burge bailed out of jail pending arraignment. Her school district fired her and covered their ass simultaneously in a random trite statement about student yadda-yadda-yadda. I feel like we’ve covered this story before? The names and faces are the only things changing.

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