Monday, December 10, 2018

UPDATE: Allyson Brittany Moran Sentenced to Hard Time for Sex With Her 15-Year Old Student

Because of the sheer volume of these cases, perhaps you don’t recall last year’s arrest and arraignment of Allyson Brittany Moran, 27, busted for multiple rounds of sexual intercourse with a 15-year old boy she seduced at Stockbridge High School in Michigan where she was a long-term substitute chemistry teacher and girls soccer coach. As with so many of these cases, Moran was in her late 20’s, fairly recently married, and began her sexual conquest with friendly chats on social media that turned into naked photos on Snapchat, of course, and eventually the boy visiting her at her home while hubby was away for the final seduction, twice.

Moran had ditched Michigan for home turn in Decatur, Illinois upon learning of her arrest warrant, but was subsequently return to a courtroom in Lansing, Michigan where she was convicted of third degree felony sexual misconduct for rolling in the sheets with her teen student. 

During the sentencing hearing this past week, Moran threw herself on the mercy of the court. Her attorney tried to mitigate her crimes by explaining her trifecta of cold marriage, miscarriage, and stress at work to explain her poor decision to find sexual comfort in the arms of a boy who’d barely begun shaving.  Her attorney assured the court that Moran’s loss of a teaching career and lifetime posting on the sex offender’s registry was punishment enough for her crimes.

Allyson Brittany Moran in court for sentencing.

That was all well and good until the boy’s family spoke, about their kid’s emotional suffering, taunting at school, and many other victim fallouts. They also noted how Moran had let the boy know she was going to kill herself if he ever told the truth about their illicit affair. Pretty heavy stuff for a kid, even one who was no longer a virgin.

The judge went by the book and added a prison sentence of two to fifteen years, meaning probably a low number of years in the end, TBD. Everybody had a good cry, except for Moran’s husband who seemingly had moved several states away and is presumably in the process of seeking a legal disconnection from his sex criminal wife.

Teacher Margaret Gieszinger Busted for Forcibly Cutting Student’s Hair While Belting Out National Anthem (VIDEO)

It’s not that you don’t typically see high school teachers running around the classroom with scissors, slicing up their students’ hair, and belting out The Star Spangled Banner, it’s that you don’t expect it on a Tuesday. 

Margaret Gieszinger, 52, a teacher at University Prep High School in Visalia, California was by all accounts, a cool cucumber of a kindly teacher. Something snapped clearly, as Gieszinger was captured on cellphone by a student in the classroom demanding a boy in her class sit before her for an impromptu Super Cuts trim. She clipped off a swath of that kid’s hair before he managed to make an escape. That’s when Ms. G started chasing frightened students about the classroom with scissors aloft assuring them they’d be next. Her full-tilt rendition of the National Anthem during this horrific turn on her own students completed the scene.

She starts walking towards her students with the scissors and is seen eventually grabbing one of the female student’s hair. Other students around her can be heard yelling, “No, Miss G! Miss. G!” The science teacher starts singing the National Anthem again and raises the scissors over her head. The student manages to flee.

Well that’s straight out of a Stephen King novel. I’m saying novel, but I mean movies, since nobody reads anymore. 

Gieszinger was eventually taken into custody by the cops and arrested for child endangerment. Not to mention operating a hair salon without a license or a fake green card as mandated by custom. Everybody who wasn’t shorn by Miss G. quickly ran to her defense by insisting she’d gone crazy. Some defense. Though there does seem to be a consensus that she snapped like nobody had ever seen before. 

Worth investigating the source of her madness before putting her back into a classroom. In the very least, remove all sharp objects from the room.

Former Miss Kentucky Turned Middle School Teacher Busted for Sending Topless Pics to Teen Student

Naturally, you recall the grace with which Ramsey Carpenter overcame her multiple sclerosis diagnosis at 20, and turned herself into the Miss Kentucky 2014, and a Top 12 finisher in the subsequent 2015 Miss America pageant. By gosh, she played the fiddle. Now do you remember? Maybe look at the bikini shots from the swimsuit competition for a refresher.

Following her run in the pageant world, the University of Kentucky grad moved to West Virginia where she married a mining millionaire named Charles Bearse and became Ramsey Carpenter Bearse. Naturally, a coal mining magnate’s beauty pageant wife needs a gig, so now Bearse returned to her degree credentials and took up teaching middle school at Andrew Jackson Middle School in Cross Lanes, WV. The school has yet to receive a historically sensitive naming update, but imagine that may be a while in West Virginia.

When Ramsey Carpenter was hustling for Miss Kentucky votes.

Two years into her tenure at Jackson Middle and Bearse, now 28, has been arrested for sending topless photos of her Miss Kentucky body to a fifteen year old boy, a former middle school student of hers between August and October of this year. Naturally, she did so via Snapchat, an app that seems to carry the bulk of our nation’s naked high school student photos, and naughty visuals between teachers and students. The boy’s mother discovered the bare breasted photos from her son’s former middle school teacher and quickly went to cops who quickly went to Bearse who quickly confessed and was arrested on four counts of sending obscene material to a minor. Not clear if that’s one count for each photo, or one count for each bare breast in two photos. These are the pressing legal questions of our time.

Bearse seems like a decent woman who’s written extensively about living with MS and supporting MS-related charities. Why she, like so many other female teachers, chose to put everything at risk for some attention from a young teen boy remains to be heard or broken down by a trained psychologist. They all say they’re lonely or not getting along with the old man. But at 28 and married but two years, maybe you take up racquetball before doing the illegal sex crimes? 

Topless Model Rhian Sugden Harassed for Selfie at Holocaust Memorial

We know that people who take selfies are twenty-two percent less intelligent than the average person. That’s science. Perhaps there’s an exception for topless models like Rhian Sugden who have a male audience hungry for visual content. Though it’s unclear which of her fans are dying for her Holocaust Memorial backdrop selfies.

Sugden isn’t the first hot chick to take a seriously questionably posed selfie. You know those shots in front of burning buildings or car accidents or the scenes of public mayhem, or even merely on the edges of cliffs slipping backward to their untimely demise. She’s not even the first to cluelessly use a Holocaust Memorial as her dramatic scenery. And given how those other less bright bulbs were treated after similar selfies, you wonder how somebody could still be so naive as to think people won’t notice the Berlin monument to their own nation’s involvement in mass genocide behind your adorable face.

Naturally, Sugden responded to initial negative comments by playing dumb. Perhaps not a stretch. She mentioned her text description, “E.T. Phone Home” displaying she merely was trying to post a photo of herself looking like the Spielberg early 80’s alien puppet. Of course, she doesn’t, outside of wearing a hoodie as E.T. did on his great escape bicycle ride from The Man. Though his was likely not designer headgear. Sugden followed the shrugged shoulder response by deleting her Instagram post, because somebody she trusts to be smarter than she told her this wasn’t the Holocaust selfie argument she could win.

In Germany it’s against the law to deny the Holocaust, so troubled is the nation by their dark history. It’s not against the law to vainly snap photos of your mug in front of memorials to such human tragedy. The laws of man at least. The laws of nature might differ. Hate the game, not the player, perhaps. She is an attractive topless model, she gets leash.

High School Teacher, Chelsea Cook, Murders Her Ex-Husband’s New Girlfriend Beneath the Christmas Tree

A Skyridge High School health and yoga teacher in Utah, Chelsea Cook, 32, was arrested and charged with shooting to death the happier, younger, similar looking girlfriend her ex-husband chose after their divorce. The details read like a case right out of crazy ex cliche magazine, including Chelsea Cook inventing an excuse of the “exchange of cold medicine” for the former couple’s three-year old twins to lure her ex-husband to the parking lot of his apartment building, while she snuck into the apartment and confronted the new girlfriend, Lisa Williams, 26, who was decorating the Christmas Tree with the 3-year olds in the room. After a few minutes of hemming and hawing in the apartment, Cook pulled a gun out of her coat pocket and shot Williams multiple times, fatally. Cook’s ex-husband ran back into the apartment upon hearing gunshots and called 911, restraining his ex-wife until police arrived.

The married couple had only divorced earlier this year in January. It’s unknown if Williams, the new girlfriend, was a pre-divorce thing or the two met only after. Either way, it shook Cook who began a pattern of harassment of her ex and his new girl both online and in-person since that time. Cook had actually been arrested on misdemeanor domestic assault charges for an altercation with her ex-husband in October, to which she plead guilty, though the high school claims they were never aware of this arrest. The kind of information you might want to know about your teaching staff. She was fired after being arrested on multiple felony counts of homicide. The school has its standards.

Lisa Williams obituary claims she is survived by over two-dozen siblings, which in Utah is the tipoff to a polygamous Mormon family background. Though obviously her murder by the crazy ex is just as tragic and sad.

As a general rule of advice to young women out there, try not to date recently divorced men especially with children. You can probably find a single guy in his late 20’s, early 30’s if that’s your range. Sure, the likelihood is his divorce and ex will only be a small pain in your life, but there’s a decent chance she’ll be a huge pain, and obviously a small chance she will come one day and kill you while you decorate the Christmas Tree in front of her own little children.

Oklahoma Teacher, Melissa Lynn Abla, Busted For Trafficking Methamphetamine

I often get the comment, can you for once maybe follow a story not about a female teacher having sex with one or more of her students? Of course. Meet Melissa Lynn Abla, 37, a reading instructor at Seymour Rogers Middle School in Liberal, Kansas. She and her gentleman friend recently got busted with over two pounds of meth in their freezer at Abla’s residence. That’s going to penally sting.

You often hear public school teachers complaining about their pay and their need to hold down a second job in the evenings or summers. Less often do you hear about that moonlighting being the distribution of meth. It certainly pays better than Uber, at least until police raid your home and start asking you politely to point out all your contraband before they tear the place apart. Abla and her guy friend’s place was loaded with many baggies loaded with crystal meth ready for sale to some lucky toothless recipient. The total amount was quite eye-opening and impossible to defend as personal use, unless you’re perhaps late 90’s Charlie Sheen. Even then, cops had already been scoping out the pair’s meth business and secured a warrant to search their premises.

For her part, Abla claims she was merely the dedicated assistant in the drug operation. You know, drove her boyfriend around to buy, sell, and perhaps planned the office Christmas party. That won’t do her much good at trial. Oklahoma isn’t like California where they give you a Try Harder badge for drug dealing. Abla’s entire arrest included “one count each of conspiracy to commit trafficking of illegal drug or meth within 2,000 feet of school or park, possession of controlled dangerous substance without tax stamp affixed, maintaining place for keeping or selling controlled substance, possession of firearm during commission of a felony and unlawful possession of drug paraphernalia.”

So long, Ms. Abla, you were a great reading teacher, but only a so-so meth dealer.

Coach’s Wife, Kelsey McCarter, Wants Civil Suit By High School Boy She Slept With Tossed Out

You may recall the 2017 case of Knoxville, Tennessee high school football coach’s wife, Kelsey McCarter. 27 at the time, Kelsey kept the home-fires burning while husband Justin coached ball at South-Doyle High School. Among two of the better players on the team were two brothers, a senior and a sophomore, who the McCarter’s allowed to live at their home for an extended period of time to provide them a more stable home life. That stability naturally include Kelsey McCarter having an ongoing sexual relationship in her car and at home with the sophomore brother. No clue why she chose the younger brother for her naughty humping needs, but the heart wants what the heart wants.

In 2017, McCarter basically agreed to plea guilty to multiple counts of statutory rape of the boy who was 15 at the time of their intensive horizontal playtime. In exchange, McCarter received a three year sentence and some formulae that would likely see her not serve all of that time. As her attorney noted at the time, McCarter was a young women with so much life ahead of her to improve and live. No word on the even younger sex partner with even more life ahead of him. But so it goes with gender double standards in teacher-student sex crimes sentencing.

Cut to 2018, and the boy and his family are civilly suing Kelsey McCarter for $2 million for all that sexual aggression slash emotional damage. If you’ve been following all these teacher sex cases, you know now that once we get past the criminal phase, the lawsuits against school districts and the offending teacher’s themselves are almost a sure thing now. Generally the teachers don’t have big cash on hand like school districts, but they might own homes or assets that can be seized.

For her part, McCarter and her attorney are asking a judge to throw out the civil suit from the family based on the simple fact that the boy loved the sex. That sounds both stupid and obviously true. As in, the coach’s wife really should be in a position to be classifying her sex life with a high school sophomore on the team. But obviously the case that the teen boy was digging the scrump time with his coach’s hot wife and caretaker. McCarter’s attorney point out how the kid kept coming back for more and when the time came he had to move out of her home, he desperately wanted back in and continued to approach McCarter for sex to secure his return. So, there’s that.

We’ll keep you posted on how this turns out, you know, for precedent sake.

Miss BumBum Brazil Runner Up Fined $30K for Onstage Fight, Stealing Winner’s Sash (VIDEO)

Oh, the trouble you can get into as a butt model in the Southern Hemisphere. And when you talk about the Miss BumBum competition in Brazil, it’s no holds-barred, though perhaps implants.

First, it’s worth noting, as ballyhooed as the BumBum contest is in the media because they love an excuse to run the photos, it’s not a particularly classy competition by any standards. Many of the contestants hailing from Brazil’s 27 states are not exactly lookers, the annual contest seems to take place three times a year and in somebody’s backyard, and the prize money is about $12K in endorsements to the winner. So, it’s a glorified Daytona Beach wet tee contest during Spring Break, except for big bottoms. It’s unclear what the judges base the judging on, but assume its not above boards.

That being said, it seems that a few weeks ago, a model who goes by Ellen Santana was awarded the fake gold sash for first place. This didn’t sit well with the runner-up, Aline Uva, which also sounds like a fake name, who rushed the stage screaming that Santana had butt implants which are not allowed in the competition. Uva cried with the claim that she put hours in the gym into her hiney, and promptly stole the winner’s sash and ran off-stage. You come for the rears, you stay for the drama.

After much deliberation, the BumBum Committee, imagine that on your LinkedIn profile, has demanded Uva return the sash to Santana, along with $30,000 for breaking her BumBum contract and for ruining the reputation of the competition. That seems like a hefty fine considering the small stakes of the competition, but you can’t put a price on even a shoddy reputation I suppose.

It should be noted the competition claims the girls are all butt-X-rayed prior to the competition to assure no implants. Though if you’ve followed the Kardashians through the years you know they did that stupid TV show segment where they had their derrieres X-ray to show no implants. Then they promptly went to the doctor who transplants fat from their wastes into their bottoms to inflate them to max capacity. Though Uva claims she has proof Santana cheated. Don’t wait on that to appear.

The BumBum Committee has given Uva a week or a month or ten years to pay the fine and return the sash or face a lawsuit which she surely fears because she likely has up to forty bucks in her bank account. She is claiming that she’s book a major nude magazine in Brazil so maybe two hundred bucks in her bank account.

We’ll keep you updated. Because we care.



Porn Star Jesse Jane Gets Drunk, Pisses Herself, And Is Arrested

The term “porn star” is thrown around quite loosely by headline writers and news reporters. In the old days of porn, when there were production expenses, a small handful of women and men starred in all the movies. They were the porn stars. With video, and later, digital video and the Internet, soon there were literally thousands of people recorded having sex on camera for displays in scene chunks across the world’s computers and cellphones. Amid that clutter of cast and talent, it’s far harder to rightly label a chick or a dude a porn star. But if you could, Jesse Jane would be a legit pick.

The highly well-known porn actress has earned the right to someday sail on the ship to Valhalla, Valinor, or some other mythical land of fallen heroes. Until then, like the others, she’ll be stuck in a purgatory limbo of aging poorly, booze and drugs, and misdemeanor petty crimes. That would definitely include public intoxication. And when you’re drunk and stumbling in public and halfway famous, TMZ will find you, or will pay the people who do find you, on cell video.

You may or may not recall the 2015 tape where Jesse Jane fell onto her back drunk and stupid outside the Vegas strip at one in the afternoon. Not a good look, and not the double anal kind of not a good look where you still get paid. Cut to a couple weeks ago in Norman, Oklahoma, after the annual Oklahoma-Oklahoma State football game where cops come upon a now later 30-something Jesse Jane alone, stumbling, pissed drunk, and pissed pants. Not the best look for a star.

According to the arrest reports and police-cam recordings, the Norman cops, who have no desire to arrest people for being drunk and stumbling after football games, if for no other reason than they’d have to build ten thousand new jail cells, gave Jane multiple chances to give them a phone number of somebody they could call to come pick her urine soaked ass up. She was too confused to answer and naturally became angrier and demanded to be arrested. So she was. With the cop knowing full well this was Jesse Jane, because cops love porn like the rest of us.

In some weird bit of Oklahoma law, Jane claimed she was super effed up because somebody drugged her and that seemed good enough and they let her go without further incident. Note to arrested persons in Norman, Oklahoma, tell the cops somebody secretly drugged you so you’re not responsible for anything. Granted, it may only work if you’re a prolific porn star with big fake boobs, but still worth a try.

Much like former athletes aged out of the business, Jesse Jane seems like she might be at a loss for what to do with her life. When you’ve been doing the same thing for so many years, probably before you’re even allowed to lawfully say, then it comes to an end, you wander. Sometimes with pee-soaked leggings down the sidewalks of Norman, Oklahoma. Pray Valhalla finds you soonish.

Natasha Patronsky Arrested for Sex With a Student In Her First Year Teaching High School

Another day, another high school Spanish teacher locked up for sex with a student. How they do roll on from day to day, state to state, school to school. But do listen to the New York Times who insist this teacher-student sex thing isn’t a real phenomenon. They’ll catch up in five years and pretend they had it pegged all along.

Natasha Patronsky, 24, a first year Spanish teacher at Sidney Lanier High School in Montgomery Alabama, turned herself into authorities last week when she learned of an investigation into her having had sexual relations with a “student under the age of 19”. For those of you not yet familiar with Alabama state laws regarding teacher-student sex, while 19 is at least several years past the age of consent in the state, Alabama like many other Southern states passed a law say no-no-never to teachers and students getting it on, unless the student is at least 19, which means, he or she are unlikely to still be in high school.

We’ve previously covered Alabama hot and horny for the kids teachers who are challenging this state law on the grounds that every other adult in Alabama gets to have sex legally with teenagers so why not teachers? And that would obviously include the judges in the state, like a certain Roy Moore. Not exactly a landmark civil right these teachers are fighting for, but it could get them out of felony sexual assault convictions and prison sentences. Patronsky is facing up to 20 years under statute, though two max seems more likely.

Not much is known about Patronsky’s background, other than she lived in Panama and that she listed herself as a Christian on some social site, which of course many in the media are calling attention to, as if adults who like to have sex with young flesh might list themselves as “Satainist”, or “pedo” in the religious field of their online profile. Poor Ms. Patronsky, but a couple or three months into her first year of teaching. We hardly knew ya’.

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